Nic Cage may have given his son the kiss of death.

I wonder if celebrities got beat up as a kid or had some sort of psychological event that scarred them for life. I wonder if they were picked on for some reason, whether it be geekiness or plain weirdness or because of their name. I especially wonder this about celebrities that name their children these crazy names that will haunt them all of their days.

I just read about Nic Cage and his wife having a baby boy. I thought I had seen some weird names, but this has to be up there. They named their little baby bouncing boy, Kal-el. For those of you who aren’t geeks who were beaten up at school, Kal-el is the Krypton name for Clark Kent or Superman. What goes through the minds of the rich and famous? I can understand naming him Clark or Kent, but Kal-el? Really, does this child need this pressure just out of the womb?

If I remember correctly, and I do, Nic Cage hosted SNL a few years back and was in a skit about baby names in which he and a female SNL castmate were going through baby names and Cage was finding every possible thing about them that would ensure his unborn child’s daily beating on the playground. Thus, they were having trouble settling on a name because Cage could find fault with every one. The reason for the dad’s concern about his child’s name was the fact that his name was Aswipe and that name could be easily misread or mispronounced and he probably suffered major teasing as a young kid.

Where was this conversation in naming his real child? I can now see this skit happening in real life, although it will be Cage’s son and his wife discussing baby names for their child. Cage is not the first celebrity that went nuts with the baby name. Jason Lee (My Name is Earl) named his baby boy Pilot Inspektor. Robert Rodriguez (SinCity) named his kids Racer, Rebel, and Rocket. Here is one that will upset George Costanza; Erykah Badu named her child Seven.

I think we as a country should step in and stop this. Maybe Congress should name all celebrity babies because I am sure many of these kids will find that this is a form of child abuse when they get the crap beat out of them everyday at school.