Thursday, November 30, 2006

YEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! David Caruso's Greatest Hits

Another great find by me today. As some of you may know I love David Caruso. He is just so damn “eccentric” in his acting style. He never looks anyone in the eye while talking to them, except on rare occasions when he has sunglasses on. He takes his sunglasses on and off for no obvious reason and with no regard for whether he is inside or outside. In just about every show he utters what I consider his catchphrase, “MMM-HMMM.” As in, “It looks like we could be dealing with a gang hit, Horatio.” “MMMM-HMMM.” He must be a S.O.B. to work with, but he is so enjoyable to watch.

With all that said, I bring you this piece of Youtube mastery. One thing that never fails in a CSI:Miami episode, is that Caruso always begins the show right before the theme music blasts in with a bada** one liner, and about 95% of the time, before, during, or after the bada** one liner, he slides his sunglasses on and walks out of the frame. It is genius.

I bring you seven minutes of David Caruso’s bada** one liners before the theme song hits. Trust me; watch as long as you can. The longer you watch, the funnier it gets. Maybe this will convert the rest of you who do not consider Caruso an acting god. Enjoy!!! MMM-HMMM!!!

The Dude + the Wii = Gold, Jerry, gold!!!

Man it has been a long time. I have been looking over the internets today and I found something that all you Big Lebowski fans will love. Apparently the new Nintendo Wii has a sports game that includes bowling on it. Well someone with more talent than I used this game to recreate the scene involving the Dude, Walter and Donnie discussing the “Chinaman” that urinated on the Dude’s rug. It is pretty good. It makes me wish I were the one who did this. I must warn you that just like the movie, The Big Lebowski, the f bombs do fly. Otherwise, enjoy!!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

New KISS Alive box set for $1.49?

More KISS news. As I was on my way into work Piccu called me and told me something interesting. Today KISS released a new box set called Alive 1975-2000. It is a collection of their first three Alive! albums and a previously unreleased Alive IV album. It's roughly 70 songs.

Piccu looked it up on iTunes probably to listen to a little bit of the songs that he had never heard before. However he noticed something odd. On iTunes the entire album that consists of 4 discs if you buy it at a store was only $1.49. Piccu likes to buy the CDs whereas iTunes is good enough for me.

So I bought all 70 songs for $1.49 instead of $25 or $30 it like ultimately will be. Also note that individual songs off the set are 99 cents. So for 50 cents extra you can have 69 more songs.

I don't know what the deal is, but if I get an invoice in my email for anything other than $1.49 I'm going to fight it. I took a screen shot of iTunes so I have that as proof.

Anyway, as of this writing, if you like KISS you can get a boatload of them for a buck and a half if you act now. LOL

Dogs and Cats Living Together! MASS HYSTERIA!!

A woman in Brazil claims that her cat was impregnated by a neighbors dog and has given birth to both puppies and kittens. Dogs and Cats. Cogs and Dats? Putties? Kippies?

If this is true, could it be an unrevealed sign of the apocolypse? Is it time to stop playing Guitar Hero: Supreme Geek Version and correct our lives? Or is it just some more freaky stuff.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Tuesday is a big day for fans of Idol, Rockstar:SuperNova, KISS, and Seinfeld.

Good news, good news, tomorrow, Tuesday Nov. 20, is a big day in the world of DVD/CD releases. For American Idol fans, and more specifically, all you Chris Daughtry fans, you can pick up Chris’ new album. I think it is called Daughtry and I believe that is the name of his band. I bet those guys love that. I have absolutely no interest in this, just like about 90% of all American Idol fans. I love the singers on the show, but I wouldn’t be caught dead buying their cd.

Speaking of wouldn’t be caught dead buying their cd, Rockstar:SuperNova’s debut comes out tomorrow. Like American Idol, I loved the show, but with Udo(Lukas) as their lead singer, I can’t imagine being able to enjoy the music. Speaking of RockStar:SuperNova, if you go to the iTunes podcast section and search for Rock ‘n’ Roll Geek Show, I recommend downloading it. In the latest edition, the host, Michael Butler, and a friend of his preview a song on the new cd and chat about it.

Also, as a bonus, the first part of the latest Rock ‘n’ Roll Geek Show is a listen to a bootleg Paul Stanley show that the host went to. It doesn’t have a whole lot of music because Butler is scared the KISS Army lawyers will sue his face off, but he plays all the stage patter and I thought it was pretty cool. But then again I am a huge KISS geek.

Speaking of KISS, we have the only cd release I will buy this week, the KISS Alive box set/collection. I told you about this a few weeks ago and it includes KISS Alive 1-3, as well as the 4th version that was never released. The 4th looks like KISS circa Psycho Circus tour. This will be a great companion to your already purchased DVD collection, KISSology Vol. 1.

On DVD this week we have the release of Seinfeld Season 7, I will pick this up in addition to the KISS Alive collection. I already have the first 6 seasons and I see no reason to stop now. Some of the episodes included are, The Maestro, The Marble Rye, The Cadillac, The Wig Master, The Bottle Deposit, and the all time great Soup Nazi. Luckily I won $50 in an NFL knockout league on Sunday so I have free money to buy these things. Unfortunately I lost the $240 I would have won if I finished first. I curse Donovan McNabb, a pox on his team.

I'm Out There Jerry!

Racism is alive and well in America. That's not news. What's news is when it is spewed out of the mouths of the rich and famous. Names from Jimmy the Greek to Mel Gibson to Rush Limbaugh have been lambasted for racial comments. Now we can add Michael Richards to the list. Click the title for the full story, but apparently Richards was doing a stand-up routine and was being heckled by a couple black gentlemen. His racial tirade is recorded in print in the article, but let's just say he used a word that rhymes with "trigger."

First of all, this is clearly disappointing. Richards was the actor behind one of the most memorable characters in TV history as Kramer on Seinfeld. Second, don't heckle. If someone's not funny, just leave. Heckling is just a punk thing to do unless you're enduring a standup routine by Osama Bin Laden, reserve your comments for yourself and your inner circle. Or else someone will drop a racial slur on your punk butt.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Best Game Console Of All Time

the PS3 mania and shooting had me thinking, what's the best game console of all time? This is a perfect question for the board as everyone on this board has been alive for all of the console's debuts except for Pong maybe.

Obviously the latest are the best in graphics and gameplay. But which console changed the world more than any other? Which one really shook things up?


Let's hear some worthless opinions.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I've got a fever and the only cure is...a PS3.

Have you got PS3 fever? I do. Not that I want to play a PS3. No, I am a capitalist at heart and I want one to sell on eBay. There are units preordered that are selling for 2 and 3 thousand dollars. That is a pretty nice profit considering you will pay roughly $615 retail for a PS3. That is if you can get your mitts on one.

Sony had planned on shipping 1 to 4 million consoles to North America on the release date of Nov. 17. That number was slashed to 400,000 and the world is going nuts. Even at our little small town Wal-Mart had two geeks sitting in line starting yesterday morning. Our Wal-Mart has set up ten chairs for people to sit in and wait for the units to go onsale. All Wal-Marts are supposed to have 10 consoles available, ours has two 60 gig models and two 20 gig models and 6 rainchecks because Sony probably sent the others to Best Buy. Sony has claimed that they will be airlifting the rainchecked consoles to the stores every week until the rainchecks are filled. They are hoping to have 1 million available by year’s end.

I plan on looking into all this because I will probably go to my local Wal-Mart and see if there is a chance of my getting one or at least a raincheck. I did some snooping yesterday and in addition to finding out how many they had in stock and how many rainchecks they have, I found out that there is someone calling about every hour asking about this same kind of stuff. It is beginning to seem like I will not be able to just walk in and buy my golden goose. Although the last big onsale our Wal-Mart had was for the Xbox 360. The had the same set up with the chairs for people to wait in, but the last unit didn’t sell until about 5 or 6 in the morning. Perhaps these are two of the geekiest geeks in the county and I will be able to just walk in at 11:59 PM and pick up a PS3. But I am not holding my breath.

I have dollar signs in my eyes, and there will probably not be a more anticipated game console event like this for at least…3 days. I have found out that the new Nintendo Wiis are also causing a bit of frenzy and those come out on Nov. 20. I am afraid I will also have to look into that. Right now pre-orders are going for 7 and 8 hundred dollars on eBay. There go those dollar signs twinkling in my eyes again.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Breaking News: O.J. has found the real killer, it's himself.

Good Lord, talk about onions. O.J. is back and just when you think he couldn’t be any more of a scum bag than he already is, check this out. O.J. reportedly has a book coming out on Nov. 30 entitled, If I Did It. What is this book about you ask? It is about how O.J. would have gone about killing Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. This guy has got balls. I guess he figures he has no chance at ever being accepted into society again, so what the hell. Everyone knows he did it, at least anyone with a quarter of a brain. What has he got to lose?

In addition to the new book, FOX (of course) is blessing us with a two part special with O.J. called O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened. FOX is the same network that brought us When Animals Attack, Man vs. Beast, and The World’s Deadliest Toddlers, or something like that. Early word coming from the set is that O.J.’s hypothetical take on the murders are pretty spot on. It is almost as if he HAD done it.

I am not one to call for someone’s death, but would any of us really miss O.J. if someone decided to put him out of his misery? I can’t imagine O.J. having such a great life. It’s obvious that he needs money or at least wants even more notoriety; otherwise he would just stay on the golf course looking for the real killers, instead of “hypothesizing” about murdering people. It is a shame that this case wasn’t tried today. Today when people hear DNA, your a#* is grass. I guess the science was too new for the jurors to believe, either that or the jurors were congenital idiots, but I digress.

I think we can go ahead and nominate O.J. for scum bag/d-bag of A.D. As of right now, it’s his to lose.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Veterans' Day...

The thing about Veterans' Day is that it's a holiday that is overlooked a lot of the time. Sure people have little ceremonies and honor the men and women who fight for our freedom, but it isn't a holiday that is greeted to very much fanfare. Heck, most people thought it was on Friday this year because the courthouse was closed. Turns out it was on Saturday.

However, on Friday I went to visit a veteran that we were going to do a feature story on in the paper. My editor gave the story to our high school intern which is kind of a possible double-edged sword, but I'm sure she'll do fine with it.

I say it is a double-edged sword simply because she doesn't have much experience with these types of stories because when we started to speak to Mr. Smith our story jumped up a notch.

See, Mr. Smith saw the first flag raised on the hilltop at Iwo Jima. The famous picture of the men planting the flag is actually of the second flag they planted, but he saw the first one.

The obvious reason that we decided to do the story was from all of the hype surrounding the new Clint Eastwood film "Flags of Our Fathers." And Mr. Smith adores our flag. He has 102 displayed in his yard and in the guest room where we did the interview there were flags everywhere.

I would say that Mr. Smith has a good reason to love our flag.

His mother had to sign his enlistment papers in 1942 for him to join the Marines at age 17. From there he fought on Iwo Jima and helped the U. S. take four other islands in the South Pacific in World War II. From there he left the Marines and joined the army. And in his words, as soon as he joined the Army, "They put me in charge." Back then Marines were held in very high regard and most of them that joined the Army trained soldiers.

He likely helped train soldiers for the Korean War and then fought in the Vietnam War where he would volunteer to take the place of soliders headed out into the jungle on patrols or missions. He said that if he knew that a man had 3 or 4 kids back home he would take their place instead. The ironic part about that was he had 5 kids back home.

Sitting there listening as he spoke about Iwo Jima and Vietnam we couldn't help but notice such a different tone he spoke with. Granted they were two very different wars, but when he would get two words into a sentence about combat at Iwo Jima he would instantly get choked up, but would almost joke about all of the death he saw and was apart of in Vietnam. I guess with Vietnam they just somehow coped with it that way. It probably helped them get through life thinking about it that way.

He openly talked about his time on Iwo Jima which lasted something like 25 days. The boats that dropped them off on the beach actually couldn't make it to the beach because of a reef. So they had to wade in chest high water to the beach where Japanese machine guns would spray the water with bullets killing many of the soldiers before they could reach the beach.

Then when they finally made landfall there were short 3 to 4 foot solid fences that were built out of banana logs they had to negotiate to advance forward. Of course these too were covered by the Japanese as well. The only way they would get over the fence without being shot or killed was to send up a troop of flame throwers. The flame throwers would open up 35 to 40 feet of fire streams and and infantry behind them would shoot through the flames and jump the fence when the flame throwers stopped. Hoping everything on the other side was clear.

That was just to get onto the island and he never got a scratch. In Vietnam he was nothing short of a trained killer for the most part. I know that almost disrespectful to say, but that's what he did and he was damn good at it. He got a bronze star for organizing 32 men to take out 60 VC and their vehicles.

Few soldiers from the WWII and Vietnam era ever talk openly about what they did and saw, but at age 83, or 84 depending on which branch of the military you ask, he realizes the significance of what he did for his country and I suppose he tells those stories so that people won't take for granted that what they see on TV from Iraq as just "the news."

As I said, most veterans never talk about their experiences during battle, but as far as I'm concerned few others deserve the kind of respect most of them shy away from.

When an 80 year-old stroke victim says he's ready to go back if they need him, there aren't words to describe the respect I have for that man.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Two words: scorched colon...

Just click the link. It's short and it involves fireworks ending with a scorched colon.

If this had happened in America we would have had quotes and eye witness accounts, but over in the UK they apparently give out just the facts and a little speculation.

Also, if this had happened in America the dude would have sued the company that created the firework that he attempted to shoot out of his rectum. Most likely for failing to adequately warn him on the packaging that lighting that particular firework while in his rectum was not a good idea.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Get your Van Halen rumors here!!

Here we go again. It seems that Van Halen is gearing up for a summer tour in 2007. I know, I know, we have heard this before. I don’t care, I love Van Halen and I am ready to listen to any and all rumors about the band, especially if it includes the rumored return of David Lee Roth to sing lead on the tour. That is the other rumor going around. Apparently the VH boys and DLR are negotiating and DLR will tour with Van Halen. There will be no new album or any future albums. This appears to be a pure money making venture and once again, I don’t care.

Unfortunately, it seems that bassist Michael Anthony has left the band or at least will not be on the tour. It has been confirmed, however, that Eddie Van Halen’s son, Wolfgang, has been rehearsing and writing with his dad and Uncle Alex and will play the bass on the upcoming tour.

Now, I love Michael Anthony, but if anyone is replaceable in Van Halen, it is him. We have already seen that DLR is only somewhat replaceable and Eddie and Alex are irreplaceable. It would be very interesting and cool to see the traveling Van Halen family with David Lee Roth at an arena near you.

So there is your Van Halen getting back together with DLR rumor of the month. Stay tuned to Incongruent-Affect for further updates as well as your Guns ‘n’ Roses Chinese Democracy release date speculation.

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss?

Well, the Democrats have gotten what they wanted, at least in the House. Dems had a great run yesterday and have a chance at also claiming the Senate to go along with claiming the House and many governorships. We seemingly have a change of power in Washington. Why do I feel so cynical about this change in power? Why do I feel that when America seems to sweep out the “corruption” in Washington, we always seem to replace them with same people, different party?

I voted yesterday, as I hope you all did, and even though I think voting is important, I just felt like any choice that I made was a wrong one. Am I the only one who feels that way? I think that it is time for a change, if for no other reason than to see if a different group could do any worse than the current one.

I already have a bad feeling about this new regime that seems to be taking over, especially when Nancy Pelosi is in charge of the House. I’m sure she is a nice person, but she seems to be just like the ones who are leaving office, unwilling to cross party lines to actually do something good for the country.

Pelosi promised that “Democrats intend to lead the most honest, the most open and the most ethical Congress in history." Read that again. Isn’t this said every time there is regime change in Washington? When I hear grand, sweeping statements like this, I know there will be only problems down the line. I also feel like there will be no working together of all parties in Washington and the Dems will be just a partisan as the GOP was when it was in power.

All in all, while this is certainly an exciting time in this country’s history, I am afraid the excitement will pass in a few months or years after we realize that we replaced the crooks with more crooks. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev, said that Americans "have come to the conclusion, as we did some time ago, that a one-party town simply doesn't work." He is right about that, I just hope that he and the Dems do not forget about this when it comes time to work with the GOP to get things done in this country.

Kentucky, the land of bourbon, basketball and...snake handling?

Just when you thought Kentucky’s reputation as a backwoods state filled with inbred hillbillies couldn’t get worse. It seems that a woman in London, Kentucky, has died from a snakebite “stupposedly” suffered during a church service. She was bitten by the snake at the church. Neighbors that live next to the church claim that snake handling is a part of their services. Just when we Kentuckians get indoor plumbing and start wearing shoes, we get morons like this who take us back to medieval times. I better break out the still and start running shine.

What is going on with some of these people? It says in the bible that a true believer has the power to “take up serpents” without being harmed, but I am not going to try it. Of course, these idiots who actually practice this as a part of their religion aren’t smart enough to use non-poisonous serpents. It also says in the bible to not wear “mingled” clothes, which means no 50% poly and 50% cotton fabrics, you can only wear 100% of a fabric. I wonder if those who are taking up snakes practice this as well as snake wrangling.

Between these crazies and Ted Haggard, Christians are really taking it on the chin this week. Haggard has personal problems that need to be dealt with, but I can solve this problem of getting bitten by a snake during church services…STOP MESSING WITH POISONOUS SNAKES DURING CHURCH. Problem solved. Isn’t it hard enough to try and live a Christian life without the risk of getting pumped full of snake venom? I sure think so. I’ve got to go find a copper pot.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Butcher of Baghdad to be Hanged

In a judgment that a tree stump could have made, Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death by the Iraqi justice system. Almost an afterthought of the conflict in Iraq, the trial has been marked by outbusts and hunger strikes as well as assasinations. But Hussein's ultimate guilt seemed a forgone conclusion. He'll likely fight it and it still has to be approved by a judicial council, but Hussein will hang. Iraqi law says he must be executed within 30 days of the sentencing.

But here's why I bring this story up. Former attorney general of the United States, Ramsey Clark apparently sent a memo to the judge calling the trial a travesty.

Ok, I get it. It probably wasn't a very fair trial, but does any sane individual doubt that Hussein deserves to die? No. Clark is fighting for the wrong person. If you want to make your stand defending someone by saying they deserve a just and fair trial, this isn't your subject. He's the most brutal and ruthless dictator of the last twenty years at least. He's killed his own people using chemical weapons of mass destruction. So why would a formerly noteworthy United States citizen make this stand and choose this case? Easy, politics. Clark was even one of Hussein's defense lawyers. This is a guy who tried to assasinate a sitting president of the United States and he's being defended by a US lawyer?!?

Clark is a democrat. He was anti-Vietnam, anti-Gulf War, and he's anti-Iraq War. He tried to organize the impeachment of George W. Bush. He attended the funeral of Slobadan Milosevic and was quoted saying that Milosevic was right and was innocent. He's a democratic nutbar.

An Inauspicious Start

You know your week will go bad when it starts like this.

I went out for a nice morning run this morning. It was very nice outside. Cool, but not cold. The sweatshirt I was wearing was just to get the body temp up a bit. I could have gone without it. On the way out from the house I ran past a German Shepherd mix and a black lab who noticed me, but didn't seem to mind me. Good.

On the way back in I noticed the two dogs were nearer to the end of the driveway. In fact, the lab was out in the street. The shepherd started barking first. No big deal because he didn't move. Then the lab turned around and sprinted toward me. I kept running, remembering that if you don't show fear they'll leave you alone. I don't know where I heard that. It must have been the Liars Weekly Journal because the dog sprinted past me only long enough to come at me from behind.

I guess I've either got the advantage because I'm warmed up or I'm at the disadvantage because my overweight self is already tired. It turned out to be the latter. The dog's in hot pursuit and it's gaining rapidly. I turn to jab step toward the dog, hoping to spook it and trigger it's flight instinct. I spooked it, but it didn't last over a nanosecond and he takes off after me again.

Now I'm sprinting (which is kind of like watching a hippo going full tilt, it ain't pretty but the speed is adequate) Praise God the dog gave up. Honestly. I'm not being blasphemous, I'm very thankful because if that lab had caught me I'd have a big bloody dog bite to tend to first thing on a Monday morning. Instead, I got a good workout. I think I'll get him a Milkbone as a reward for the motivation.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Kanye West is what we like to refer to as a nutbar...

Apparently Kanye West didn't receive the memo.

You know the one I'm talking about. Memo that told every band member, artist or pop star in the world that MTV, beit Europe, America or South America, picks and chooses everything. They pick the videos they want to play and they pick who they want to win their awards. Fans don't vote for anything and when they do, it is never taken into consideration.

For those of you who haven't read about it, it seems that Kanye was at the MTV Europe awards and felt as though he should have won for best video. When the actual winner took the stage, Kanye stormed the stage, grabbed a mic and proceeded to go nuts. He stated, in an expletive laden tirade, that he had to win the award for best video because if he didn't the show would "lose all credibility."

He also stated that he had to win the award for his video because it "cost a million dollars" and "Pamela Anderson was in it." As if it's hard to get Pam into a video of any type.

Kanye is that we like to refer to as a nutbar. He's gone off the deep end and for some reason he has chosen to bite the hand that spoon fed him his millions.

I know I'm going to be generalizing here, but if you are in the pop music or rap genre of music, MTV picks and choses who lives and who dies. Everyone talks about how talented and amazing Kanye West is, but I can't tell if he is any better than the next guy. But if MTV decides they'll put your video on TRL and they play it in their 3:30 a.m. to 4:15 a.m. block of video time, you are going to be a platinum selling artist.

As I said before, they chose who wins and who loses. In their awards shows and in their careers. From the get go they've never actually let fans chose who they like, they've been shown who to like and Kanye was chosen to be one of the few. Kanye was chosen to be added into the formula of overexposure and accolades that keeps the cycle of pop music and rap music going.

Record companies find good looking singers, give them some songs they didn't write, make an album and MTV makes sure that everyone gets paid. Usually more than the star does. That's how it works and Kanye is either as naive as the day is long or has been sheltered from the business. Maybe he just makes music and performs and no one has ever told him that MTV handed it all to him? Maybe he thinks his talent got him where he is?

One thing is for sure, he doesn't know how much about MTV's role in the music business. Now we just have to see what MTV does with him. He technically doesn't need them anymore, but you are talking about a serious record sales hit with them.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Bob Barker, COME ON DOWN!!!

Now that the pet population is finally under control and he's harrassed his quote of Barker's Beauties, TV icon Bob Barker is announcing his retirement from the Price is Right. In honor of this, today we'll ask the question, what's your favorite Price is Right game?