I have never been to Florida; I have never seen the ocean. I know, I must be a loser, but I am not the ramblin’ man Merlin is. I now know that I will never go to Florida for fear of angering some redneck with a gun.
Florida has passed the country’s first “Stand Your Ground” law. What does this mean? Well, apparently in Florida, you can now shoot first and ask questions later. This law allows you to shoot someone in the face if you feel you are being threatened or that an already tense situation is getting out of hand. This law would allow me to knee cap my brother if I thought he was getting overly belligerent during a friendly disagreement.
“I'm sorry officer, but he raised his voice and I thought I had better shoot him before things got out of hand.” In Florida that is a valid defense. I could go down the street picking fights and shooting people who took the bait. Now I love my guns as much as the next Kentucky hillbilly, but Republicans must really love guns. I don't want the government to take away my guns, but I don't want government to increase my likelyhood of being shot by a gun.
Perhaps this is a Most Dangerous Game situation and the hunters lobbied for this law because they wanted to hunt an animal of a little higher intelligence than a Burmese python. The only thing I know is that until everyone in Florida has taken court mandated anger management classes, I think I will continue to vacation in South Carolina.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
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