Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Big Screen Concerts... Why didn't I think of that?

What are Big Screen Concerts? Well, it's the most incredibly simple idea on the planet and is totally awesome for people like us here in the OC. And I'm talking Kentucky and not Cali.

Big Screen Concerts is a company that records or similcasts gigantic rock concerts to movie theaters all over the country. An idea so simple, we are all now dumber for having someone else come up with it.

The funny thing about this is that the closest theater that offers the next Big Screen Concert, which is Korn, is almost 100 miles away from us in Nashville. If I lived in Nashville, I'd just go to the stinkin' concert when the band made it there. Nashville has Starwood or whatever it is calling itself this days, Gaylord Entertainment Center, a football stadium and other places I'm sure I'm missing.

Our closest venues are Roberts Stadium in Evansville, Ind. which seats about 10,000 and Freedom Hall in Louisville which seats about 15,000. Rupp Arena is about 3 hours away so I'm not really counting that. Rupp seats about 25,000 counting floor seats and still some big bands won't come there.

Big Screen Concerts has shown acts like Pink Floyd's David Gilmour, Springsteen, The Stones, Green Day and The Beastie Boys. They've also done The Who at the Isle of Wight and even showed the Elvis Comeback '68 concert along with a KISS concert. And Piccu and I can tell you that KISS puts on one heck of a show.

The problem with acts other than possibly KISS, which Piccu and I saw at the tiny Roberts Stadium, few bands of this size will come anywhere near Kentucky. Especially western Kentucky. However, Big Screen Concerts could similcast these thing in our local theaters. And no I'm not talking about Stick Floors, our local, local theater, I'm talking about nice theaters that we frequent.

Big Screen Concerts also likes to run their concerts on "non-peak" nights when most of the time the movie seats are empty anyway.

So, now all we need is for theaters around smaller communities like ours to wake up and offer us these concerts. Most of them are $10 or $20 but if it is live or recently recorded and shown in high-definition, I'm there. It seems that several of the shows are also one night events. Likely one night only concerts and with similcasting they obviously won't be showing it again at the theater. I would have loved to have gotten to see some of the few shows that David Gilmour did in L.A. promoting his new album.

I just think it would be awesome to be able to watch a concert at a movie theater. I'm not driving to Chicago to see The Stones, but I'll drive 30 minutes and watch the similcast in a movie house. And it would be cool if they would show the crowd before the band went on because the anticipation of the band coming to the stage is awesome.

Rock on Big Screen Concerts, but broaden your horizons and include those of us who can't see a big concert inside of a six hour drive.

Gnarls Barkley will make your summer.

It’s summertime and that means it is time for some good summer music to listen to. I am a bit of a music fan and I would like to recommend the group Gnarls Barkley. Their cd is entitled “St. Elsewhere” and is a great collection of fun summer tunes. The lead single “Crazy” is the kind of song you want to listen to over and over and over. It is also a perfect tune to listen to while cruising around on a hot summer night.

Gnarls Barkley is made up of two individuals you may have heard of. Gnarls could be called a hip hop supergroup because it features Cee-Lo, from the Goodie Mob and his own solo career, and Danger Mouse, who really gained famed for his mash up of Jay Z’s Black album and The Beatles’ White Album and he more recently produced the new Gorillaz album. Cee-Lo apparently called up Danger Mouse and asked if he would produce a song or two for him and Danger Mouse said that he didn’t do songs, he did albums. Thus was born Gnarls Barkley.

I want to compare them to Outkast, but not so much because the sounds are similar, but I remember how I felt when I first heard an Outkast cd. It blew me away because it sounded so different. Gnarls is like this. I would not call this a rap album. It is more old school R & B vocals with hip hop tracks underneath. It works so well. I found myself thinking of the Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 soundtracks when I was listening to this. It has an old school vibe to it, almost an Ennio Morricone-ness to it as well as a classic soul music sound. If you know what I mean. It is hard to put into words.

I think you will love this if you love Outkast, classic soul, or Ennio Morricone. I picked it up at Target for about $9 or $10 and it is definitely worth it. Start your summer off on the right note and pick it up.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Are aliens invading our planet thru ducks?

Click the link for proof positve that unlike the TV show Invasion, the real alien invasion will begin with the duck population. In the x-ray of a duck, you can plainly see...well something. Something with an evil looking face and a weirdly shaped body. I think this is indeed an alien. Why chose a duck as a host? That I can't figure out. Intelligent life, my a**.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Eagles of Death Metal...again.

I know I have told you before to check out a band called the Eagles of Death Metal, and I am telling you again. I have linked their audio/video page of their website. Check out the video for I Want You So Hard. It sums up the spirit of the Eagles of Death Metal. In it J-Devil takes s a young blonde back to his hotel room, but not for sex, he rocks her with his awesome guitar solo. Also look for cameos from Jack Black and Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. If you are feeling more adventurous, check out the video for Midnight Creeper. It is about a serial killer that rocks an old school blues vibe.

I Should be in Pictures Part IV

Well last night I had my first table reading of my scene in the movie. I was there with 5 others including the assistant director. Everyone did a good job, especially Coach A as the storekeeper. I did my lines three times each in a different way and I got a standing ovation. Even the cute chick from McLean County was awed by my acting prowess.

We were told to do whatever we had to do to reach our character. Go where ever we had to go to become our character. The director wants to be able to call us by our character’s name and never see us as who we actually are. My character? He was described as uncouth, loud, nasty, belligerent, drunk, thought of women as indentured servants, women should be in the kitchen and barefoot and pregnant. I gotta tell you, I’m really close on this one. I told the AD I would start to cuss more and begin drinking heavily this weekend. I got a fist bump from Coach A on that one.

So, next week we meet again for contract signings. I am curious to see what two lines and three days on set will earn me from a very small independent film. Well, I better get to drinking.

You have got to see this!!! If it's not fake.

I saw a link to this while I was making my usual rounds on the internet to start my day. It is a video of talk show host Jimmy Kimmel getting bitten by what seems to be a 7 foot rattlesnake. I am not sure if this is fake or real. Years of watching professional wrestling has me skeptical anytime the EMTs are called in. That being said, it sure looked real.

It took place on his show with what appears to be a live audience. It could have very well been an April Fools Day joke and edited to look real. I have not seen or heard anything about this other than the blog I found it on. I searched for this in Yahoo news and could not find anything on it. I do not know the date this happen or anything else. Click the link and check it out.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Baby names for Merlin and the Toast courtesy of wacky celebrities.

This is a post mainly for Merlin and the Toast. Click the link to find out the latest crazy names for celebrity babies. Penn Jillette (frankly it sounds made up) and his wife have just had their second child. It is a baby boy, his name? Zolten Penn, that’s a winner. Penn said, “Zolten is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog,"

Well, as long as you have a good reason. By the by, the Jillette’s first child, a girl, is named Moxie CrimeFighter. It seems little Zolten got off lucky.

My favorite Spice Girl Geri Halliwell has also just given birth to a baby girl. Her name? Bluebell Madonna. Alrighty then. Said Halliwell, obviously before the drugs wore off, “But what really clinched it for me was my mother telling me that the bluebell is increasingly rare--so it's [a] precious flower, which seems just right for my daughter."

"As she came out of my tummy, Bluebell had both arms flung wide in the air as if announcing to the world, 'Hi! I'm here!' She was screaming her head off, as though she was shouting, 'Hello, Wembley!' No one else has that name, apart from the Virgin Madonna and the singer, whom I love."

Which Madonna is it that she loves? The singer or the mother of our savior.

Anyway, there are a few names you could use for the upcoming Gamecock.

The OC has some new roads with some familiar names.

As part of my job, I get to name roads. Well, at least roads in the county that have been unnamed since they were put on our maps. Some are haul roads, some are driveways that have been mapped, and at least one is the drive around a trailer park. I was given a map of the unnamed roads and was told to name them.

The haul roads were easy because the KY Fish & Wildlife have named a few of them already and their names gave me an idea of how to name the rest. Most have names like KH17 Ln or KH1 Rd, things like that. However, there were a few other roads that were not necessarily haul roads and weren't in the same area. I do not know if these names will stick or if they will even stay roads on the map.

I sat and thought about names I could use. I did not want to use a similar name or one that has already been used. There is a Church St in every small city in the OC. So I thought outside the box. Here are a few names I used.

Here are four that are from the same source. Veronica Ln, Mars Loop, Kane Ln, and Logan Ln are all new roads in and around the OC. Sawyer St and Hurly Ln are two others that I named. We have a Bogart Loop and a Hitchcock Rd. Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head, at least the ones that aren’t named a normal street name. I hope these never get a street sign because I just may have to “borrow” them for a collection.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Our American Idol is chosen tonight, then both Taylor and McPheever can slip back into anonymity.

American Idol comes to an end tonight with a special two hour finale. TWO HOURS? Why in the wide, wide world of sports do we need two hours to hear…”and Taylor, you are the American Idol.” I am sure the top ten will come back and sing. Pheever and Taylor will sing a few songs. I’m sure Seacrest will tease the viewers for over 30 minutes before revealing the winner in the last five minutes. I will probably not watch it; I have to concentrate on Lost. I will tell you that Taylor will win, just like I said about 6 or 7 weeks ago.

Last night’s show was horrible because I felt like I had heard both Taylor and Pheever sing those songs before. Wait a minute, I think I did. Anyway, they both debuted new songs that will become their first singles released to the masses. As far as I am concerned, they can keep them. Pheever’s original song was so terrible I watched about 3 seconds of it. Taylor’s was a little better, I listened to 8 seconds of it.

American Idol makes bajillions of dollars; you would think they could hire good songwriters. Do all the first original Idol songs have to be the sobby, inspirational, “I made it, Ma” songs? Why couldn’t Pheever sing an original she could shake her moneymaker too? Why couldn’t Taylor have a song that he could do his stupid gyrations to?

What does it matter? Tonight’s show will draw a huge number of people and in 2 years time we will have long forgotten about both of the finalists.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Happy endings.

Though everyone has not ended in a happy way two of my shows ended the last couple of days. First Desparate House Wives had a finale that surpassed a mediocre season. I was some what impressed with it and am interested to see what happens with Lynette. Gabby and her situation might be pretty good too. Honestly, I am never to interested in Susan's story line and I am usually on the fence about Bree's. It was an entertaining episode.

Alias went out with a bang, and though it lacked some of the umph I would have dreamed about after the set up for the first couple years, it was pretty good. I think they went as un supernatural as they could given the Rembaldi set up. I wasn't too shocked in the whole "what it was" but I liked how the ended with Sloan and Jack. I liked the ending with her mother too. They did a good job of setting up for a movie or another tv show at some point.

Bottom line is that both these shows are pretty good and had pretty good endings. Since I don't watch 24 I have to get cought up on that. This summer we are going to consider watching season three and maybe season four. (We've only seen the first two)

Monday, May 22, 2006

Natalie Maines Still Doesn't Get It

Natalie Maines, lead singer of the Dixie Chicks, still doesn't get it. Her most recent foot in the mouth comments have her saying that she doesn't owe President Bush an apology.

Let me break something down for Miss Maines and all other bigger-than-their-britches stars and starlets who wax political. We don't care. We simply don't care about your opinion. Maines believes she was vilified for criticizing the President before the Iraq War. I believe that's hardly the case. It had little to do with what she said and more to do with where, when, and how she said it.

If she had truly been as brave as she thinks she is, she would have made that statement to a crowd of American fans who made her and her group famous. Instead, she did it overseas. If she had truly been smart, she would have criticized the president when asked. Instead, she blurted it out there continuing a string of celebrities who consider themselves more informed than the populous and important enough to be worth listening to.

Frankly, I think they read the same news I do. I think they watch the same TVs you and I do. So I don't feel that travelling in a bus and singing on a stage makes you much more important than I am. We both have one vote.

Don't think this is a Republican diatribe either. Hardly. I was just as sickened and annoyed with Toby Keith.

Congratulations celbrities. You've made your mark on the world. Now zip it. Natalie, Toby, I don't want your political opinions. Tom Cruise, I don't want to hear your whacked out beliefs. Bill Maher..I don't want to hear you period. Rosie O'Donnell, I don't want to hear your championing of Lesbian Rights and Gay Marriage Amendments.

To be fair, not all celebrities use their influence negatively. I greatly admire Lance Armstrong and Melissa Etheridge for using their celebrity to bring awareness and funds to fighting cancer. I admired all those, even Sean Penn, who helped after Katrina and tried to help fellow man.

But the vocal minority are ruining it for the rest. Sounds like the entire political landscape in America, doesn't it?

Tool rocks Piccu and New York City.

Click the link for details of a Tool show in New York and rush out to your local record store and grab the new Tool cd, 10,000 Days. I have been listening to this cd since it came out and it gets better and better every time I hear it. Tool are like a metal jam band, the songs are long but never get boring. They could also be described as math rock by the myriad amount of time changes throughout each song.

I think I mentioned this in an earlier post extolling the virtues of Tool, Tool’s music is like an episode of Fox’s House. You know what every episode of House is about, a patient comes in with some unidentified illness and House’s team tries and fails at everything right up until 10 to the hour, and then they cure the patient. It happens every show, yet every show is great and different. With Tool, every song has that same sort of Tool vibe and groove, but every song is different and new. Do yourself a favor and indulge in Tool for 10,000 days.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Aristocrats

This is the title of a documentary released last year. For those of you who don't know, it is about one joke; the comedians joke in fact. By this, I mean that it is the joke that always gets told when comedians get together. The entire movie is about this one joke! Ok, there is more to it than that. What you don't know is that everyone has their own version. Through the course of an hour and a half you here a bunch of the versions. Some of the coolest parts are actually hearing all of these famous comedians telling about their favorite version or from the funniest teller of the joke. The first half of the movie, I am basically stunned and intrigued. Somewhere in the middle I got to this version of the joke that i essentially end up in the floor holding my stomach. The guy who played Ira on Mad About You is telling the joke actually doing his impression of Christopher Walken telling the joke. Other funny ones are the south park version, Sara Silverman (who by the way is smoking hot), and Gilber Godfrey. Believe me, I can't stand Gilbert Godfrey as much as the next guy, but the story of him telling it is really hilarious. I have to tell you this is a movie for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. It is a movie for people who love how movies are put together. Or it is a movie for people who love REALLY, REALLY dirty jokes. As filthy as it is, i gotta reccomend it.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The networks release their fall schedules this week. Good news and bad news abound.

I have just seen some information about the upcoming network fall TV season and I can’t tell you how relieved I am that the new network The CW, a combination of The WB and UPN, brought back Veronica Mars for another season. I can’t stress this enough, WATCH THIS SHOW!!! It is a great show, smart and funny and they answer questions in its finale, not give you more questions to ponder like some other shows are wont to do.

Other news, in shows I don’t care about, Grey’s Anatomy is moving to Thursdays to take on the 800 pound gorilla of CSI. Not sure how this is going to work out. I guess ABC smells or sees blood in the water. ABC also ordered about 6,000 new shows, and I am betting about 2 will stick and they will all suck. Although there's this show called Let’s Rob… which is a show about robbing Mick Jagger starring Donal Logue, I believe. Mick Jagger has agreed to make cameo appearances and it sounds stupid enough to be good. Unfortunately the good shows are the ones that get cancelled first.

Fans of Invasion better enjoy tonight’s season (series?) finale because ABC has cancelled the show. Good riddance I say. You will notice I put a question mark beside series? finale because The CW is apparently interested in picking up the show and installing it in their lineup next fall. It’s like a midnight phone call from the governor to a death row inmate hooked in the chair.

Shows I like, Crossing Jordan and Scrubs are returning, but they are not returning in the fall. I guess NBC knows its new shows will stink and they want shows that stink but not as bad as new show stink to take their place. I like Crossing Jordan and Scrubs, but it will not kill me for them to not return. I do find it interesting that Jordan’ s ratings are higher than The Office (love), The Biggest Loser (hate) and Las Vegas (no opinion) and they are all coming back. I also see that the best Law and Order show, Criminal Intent is now on Fridays, I guess NBC is trying to kill it off, slowly.

I haven’t seen Fox’s fall lineup but I am hoping Bones returns because I really like to look at Emily Deschanel. In more bad news, it looks like Travis will have to find a new show to love now that Everwood has been cancelled. May I suggest Veronica Mars?

I Should be in Pictures. Part III

I went to the meeting for the movie on Monday night. As I said in my last post, I had been selected to be an extra in the movie. The meeting was about a lot of rules, really. The producer had plenty of things we could not do, nothing crazy or anything. Rule number one was when you are a cast member of Red Velvet Cake; you do not talk about RVC. Rule number two, well you know the deal. I figured that wouldn’t be that big of a deal for an extra that is only on set for three hours. So I plan to document my rise to fame and fortune as a Hollywood extra. But, the plot thickens.

I had signed in earlier in the meeting, but idiot me, I forgot to leave any contact info so at the end of the meeting, I went to the producer to find my contact info sheet. I put my phone numbers and email addresses on the sheet. We were also supposed to put our character name, if we had one, on the sheet or write extra if we were an extra. I wrote extra and began to leave.

I stopped to kind of make a joke to the director. He had said right before the end of the meeting that there were three speaking roles left and I was going to ask if I could have one. Before I could say anything, he asked if the assistant director had gotten in touch with me, they wanted me to be Tim Ray. I then became a speaking character. I am now eligible for a best supporting actor Academy Award. I have to sign a contract and then I will have my first paid acting gig. I’m on my way.

The director also said that this film will be sent to the Tribeca Film Festival, Robert DeNiro’s baby, in New York and also the Sundance Film Festival. Bratch and I are already scheming a way to attend Sundance to get all the swag that is available for media and actors.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Shocked in the OC.

It has been a shocking day today in the OC, at least for me. Two things happened that shocked me, SHOCKED me I say. The first? I found out that I was a Republican. WTF!?! That means that Trent, Travis and I are comrades in conservatism. I registered to vote as a high school senior, and like most high school seniors I had no idea about politics. I didn’t know any differences between the parties and I really didn’t care. I still don’t really care to this day. I thought that I registered as an Independent but I guess I didn’t.

Tomorrow we are having our voting primaries and I thought that I may go vote. I usually wait till the real deal to place my vote, but some of these races will be decided tomorrow and I thought I will make my voice heard, or something like that. I popped into the clerk’s office and got the news.

It seems I have to now transform my whole view on the world. I must now value money higher than sex. I must now be ready to fight anytime someone irks me in the least. Down with diplomacy! I’m sure there are other things to look at, but I will figure that out later. I am now put at ease a little when it comes to government spying on phone conversations. I would assume because I am in the “right” party, I won’t be spied on, that’s reassuring. I am confused about who should scare me more, liberals, commies, gays or Al Qaeda. Not sure on the rankings.

Another thing that shocked me today was a political sign I saw while making my rounds in the county Escape. I saw a sign that said, “Vote Straight Vote Against ….” I am not going to print the name, but the sign had it. There is an incumbent, a Republican no less, which is being challenged this year like no other. In years past when someone went up against him in the primaries or the general election, you knew the incumbent would win hands down.

It seems that rumors of the sexual orientation of the incumbent are swirling and according to the sign in the yard of some inbred ignoramus, he wants a straight guy to hold that particular office. I realize that just finding out that I am a conservative should make me want to shake the sign guy’s hand, but why do I feel like fire bombing his residence?

If a man’s sexual orientation is the only reason you can think of to vote someone out of office, you should not be allowed to vote. This person has not done anything on the job that warrants losing elections. It’s not like he is making any male he hires dress like a Chippendale’s dancer. You won’t catch anything if you come into contact with him. He doesn’t have the Gayvian Flu. It shouldn’t surprise me because we live in an area where it would be hard for a man of color to win some elections, but it just hit me in the face. I felt shame for my county that a good man who does a good job may lose it because of his personal life. I thought stuff like this only happened in Mississippi or Alabama.

Welcome to the OC, b*#@h.

I Should be in Pictures. Part II

I got the call on Wednesday, then Thursday, and then I called on Friday and got confirmation that I am indeed in the movie that will be filming in the OC. All I was told was that the director would like me to be an extra in the movie. I do not know if I will have any lines or if I will just stand in the background eating cake. I will find out, hopefully, tonight as there is a meeting at 6.

I don’t understand why it is so hard to get a job in the movies. I walk in, I blow the director away and now I am on my way to Clooneydom, or perhaps Clint Howardom. Anyway, this ought to be pretty cool and Bratch is more excited because he is going to try to sneak on to the editing truck to edit some of the movie himself. Then he would have an editing credit and I have an acting credit, which should be enough to get Swat Monkey Productions off the ground and get our long time gestating softball project off the ground.

“This red velvet cake is making me thirsty.” Piccu in Red Velvet Cake 2006

Thursday, May 11, 2006

America does not want Chris Daughtry as it's Idol, but someone else does.

Chris Daughtry got the boot last night. It still amazes me that I can be surprised by reality TV. I saw the news on the Today show, well, today, and I could not believe it. This just clears up a smooth run to the title for Taylor Hicks. He is a stone cold lead pipe lock.

Now, I was actually doing some work today and I was listening to the Adam Carolla Show this morning and they said they had breaking news concerning Chris Daughtry. Apparently a lead singerless band will be asking Chris Daughtry to become their new lead man on Extra today or tomorrow. This lead singerless band? A favorite of Travis, Fuel. I do not know if this was a joke or not, but there was nothing said or done to lead me to believe this wasn’t true.

All hail the new Fuel.

Latest developments on alleged Rondo point shaving scandal? No news is good news.

Over the last few weeks, IA has received a huge amount of hits for a story I posted about the alleged point shaving scandal involving Rajon Rondo. I had heard the FBI was looking into it; this information was from someone close to the FBI. I had also heard from a former UK player who said he thought there was something to it, but he didn’t think anything would come out. It would either be swept under the rug or nothing conclusive would be discovered or proved.

I can see someone wanting to keep this hush hush and I am sure this wouldn’t be the first time something like this was swept under the proverbial rug. Look at baseball and steroids; they swept that issue so far under the rug it took a decade or more for it to come out.

I have now heard from a couple of sources that all the talk in Lexington about this alleged scandal has died down. One thing about point shaving, it is relatively easy to do, but not so easy to prove. As for why this never came out in the “media” I assume they would need some sort of confirmation from someone high up before they start to print or report something that will make the opening of Sportscenter. The media also could have found out weeks ago that this was a non story and it either was not true or was not proved.

This may have been a hoax, but I thought it was interesting and figured others would too. Since nothing has come out, I hope this will go away and everyone can now concentrate on next year’s championship season or 15 loss season depending on who you talk to.

Sorry UK haters, it looks like the Cats have skated by.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I should be in pictures and now I just might be or Piccu's journey to Hollywood.

The OC has just become Hollywood East. Some filmmakers from Louisville have written a movie and are going to film the majority of it in Ohio County. The filmmakers held auditions a few weeks ago in Rosine at the Barn. Many showed up to see if they were the next George Clooney or the next Jennifer Aniston, or something like that. I was working so I didn’t go, but Bratch and Don the Don went and wrote up something for the local paper. Some of you may have read the article.

The name of the movie is Red Velvet Cake. There is a website, click the link for it, the official screenplay will be posted this coming Sunday and the director has a blog on the making of it with some entries already posted. Click on RVC Blog for the details. I have not read the script, but Bratch says it is very good and I had heard that Lily Tomlin wanted to purchase the script for herself, but the director did not want anyone else to make this movie because he knew all of the people the film is based on. Bratch can tell you a little more about it in the comments section.

I had heard that the director was coming back to the county for more auditions and that if I wanted to try for a part a phone call could be made on my behalf. There was a phone call and I got my first official movie audition. I went to the theater in the courthouse yesterday afternoon for my audition.

After about a half hour of other people doing their things, I got the call. I would read with some dude and a woman. The other guy was Curtis and the woman was Aline and I played Tim. It turns out that Curtis is the main bad guy and I am his friend, who may or may not be a drunk, who in this scene goads him into a fight with his wife. Here is the scene as best as I remember it.

Curtis asks where supper is and Aline tells him it will be ready in a few minutes. I, as Tim, say, “What’s her problem? When you are ready to eat she should have it ready.”

Curtis then yells some more and Aline tells him pretty much the same thing, that she will have it ready soon and to wait. I then say, “Are you going to let her talk that way to you? Who’s in charge here?” Curtis then cusses her, throws the dinner in the floor and Curtis and I go to the bar to drink. And scene.

I was asked to do these lines a few times. Once not so loud because I didn’t want Aline to hear me egging him on, another time the director asks for a little louder, and then the last time he asks me to go over the top. That one was my favorite try. I thought that I saw the director enjoying my performance out of my periph. In my periph he seemed pleased.

He thanked me and got my contact info and I headed home. I think I will make the movie if for no other reason than there are 170 to 200 parts to be cast and only 30 have been cast so far. I think the odds are in my favor. I told the director I just thought it would be cool to get a line in a movie. Hopefully I will get my one line in a movie and that will lead to several summer blockbuster movies.

Maybe I will be able to adlib a line or two. I already have one at the ready. “This red velvet cake is making me thirsty.”

Elliot was evil last night on American Idol. Will it be enough to make the final three?

As you can tell I am kind of bored at work today, so I am passing the time by writing about anything and everything.

American Idol just got interesting. I predicted the demise of Elliot last week and I said that if he didn’t go last week, he would this week. If the votes go according to the performances last night, then I will be wrong. That never happens!!

Last night was Elvis night and the Idols picked many of my favorite Elvis songs, including Suspicious Minds and Trouble. I will say that I thought Chris would have tackled Trouble because he is the scary “rock” guy and I almost laughed when I saw Elliot was doing it, but he pulled it off. Taylor had a good showing with In the Ghetto, another of my favorites, and Chris’ version of Suspicious Minds was very good.

On the other hand, McPhee did not do very well at all and should be gone tonight, unless America votes according to all performances and not just last night’s. It seems that ever since she stopped flaring her hooters, her performances have been less than stellar.

McPhee and Elliot will be the two with the least number of votes. Even though Elliot did a great job last night, probably the best job of the last few shows, I think America is a little confused and creeped out by him. He will go home tonight and McPhee will go next week.

I am still going with Taylor to win, even though I think that Chris is the fan favorite right now. I think Taylor is safe and kooky enough to garner a few more votes than Chris in the end. He should pick up more Elliot and McPhee votes than Chris will. There is my analysis for the week. It is sure to be wrong as usual.

Britney is pregnant again!! Lord, help those kids.

Have you ever thought that maybe the government should institute IQ tests for prospective parents to make sure they have the intelligence to raise kids? If they do not pass the test then the government sterilizes them. Every once in a while, I feel that way.

Like after I hear that Britney Spears is pregnant again. Is she just completely mental? Did Federline impregnate her right after she delivered little Sean Preston? These two numbskulls couldn't keep a plant alive for more then a week. How many times does child services have to be called to your house to make you think, "Maybe a second kid right away isn't a good idea because we haven't figured out how to work the first one yet."

K-Fed is turning into the white trash Hollywood Shawn Kemp. I think he is trying to form his own personal army to protect him when he gets old and turns to a life of crime. I guess Britney has all the money she needs because it will be very hard for her to just pick up where she left off. Maybe that is why K’Fed is trying to launch a rap career; someone has to earn a living in that household. I guess the old saying is true, you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl.

Here is another example, click the link for the story on Yahoo. A woman was arrested for helping her daughters bake a cake loaded with a box of Ex-Lax. Who are these parents? I am not a parent and even I know that you do not teach your kids these things. She should be made to eat ten boxes of Ex-Lax in one sitting.

I hope Merlin and the Toast study up before they have their little rugrats. I would hate to add them to the dumba** parents list.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Bonds vs. Babe or Steroids vs. Beer

I am listening to The Dan Patrick Show and Keith Olbermann is on and they are talking about some critics, including Joe Morgan, who are claiming Babe Ruth was using an illegal substance during his career. His illegal substance? Beer. Prohibition my friends, prohibition. Keith made the argument that it wasn’t necessarily illegal to drink beer or liquor during prohibition, but you couldn’t manufacture or sell it. I won’t even make that argument.

I can understand a few guys wanting to play devils’ advocate, but this argument does not hold water. As far as I know, beer does not help enhance your athletic ability. How many beers do you have to drink to improve your hand eye coordination? I’m guessing none. Steroids helped Bonds pack on muscle to effectively “muscle” the ball out of the park. He also was able to recover quicker than the average ball player, which meant he was not as tired during a stretch of day games after night games. The usual fatigue and wearing down over the course of the season did not happen with Bonds. That is the most important thing about his “allegedly” using steroids. Not the strength to hit balls farther because he could still hit a ball 400 feet. He was able to hit more balls out because he was never tired.

I have linked a column by Joe Henderson of the Tampa Bay Tribune. In it he reverses the roles and has the Babe chasing Bonds and what the media these days would have done to the Babe as he got closer to Bonds’ record. It is an interesting read, and it may have in fact happened that way, but there is a difference between off the field activities that should hurt your ability to play baseball and activities that enhance your abilities.

This whole thing is really sad because, say what you will about Bonds’ attitude, he is the greatest player of my generation, steroids or no. He will be marked for life with a scarlet S. There will be no need to strike his records, there will be no need to put asterisks beside his numbers, because he will carry that scarlet S to his grave and beyond. He will always be remembered for being a disgrace and a cheater. As far as I am concerned, that is a fair and just punishment.

David Blaine, Impossible Jumps, why are we watching?

How starved are we for entertainment? I do not know the exact numbers on last night’s David Blaine Drowned Alive, but I bet it fared pretty well. Heck, I even watched the holding the breath part of it. I just can’t see why we watch crap like this. Were we watching to see if he would really die? I think that may be the driving force, although most will not admit it.

How many people watch NASCAR strictly for the crashes? A great number I would bet. You can only stand watching cars go around a track for so long. You need a break, or in this case a crash, in the action.

I watched the latest sham of a sporting event on ESPN the other night, The Impossible Jump. The show was based around a super extreme motocross guy jumping the fountains in Vegas. But, he wasn’t just jumping them, he was jumping them while performing a backflip. The show came on at 7:30 PM and was an hour long. I predicted that they would talk about the actual jump for 55 minutes and at 8:25 PM the jump would be made. I was right.

As they talked about the jump, they had this diagram of what was going to happen. A diagram that was constructed by a 5 year old it seems. The way they drew this out, it looked like the guy was dead. Jump time and the guy takes off, makes the jump, and lands safely. I’ve got to tell you, I was disappointed. I didn’t want the guy to die, but he could have at least laid the bike over and broke a wrist or something.

I think I am not the only one who felt that way, and maybe that is why we have events like this. David Blaine spent a week in the snow globe of water and then chained himself up and tried to hold his breath for 9 minutes to break the world record. He escaped the chains and made it to 7 minutes and nine seconds. He didn’t die, he didn’t break the record.

Isn’t this the equivalent of Geraldo opening Al Capone’s vaults to find old liquor bottles? Why was this hyped up so much? Why couldn’t he just get in the snow globe Friday morning and then 8 hours later do the stunt? Why is crap like this on TV while shows like Alias and Arrested Development get cancelled. Are good smart TV shows going to become a thing of the past? Can we now look forward to more Yes, Dears? More Freddies? More Two and a Half Mens? More David Blaine performing boring overhyped nonstunts? Good Lord I hope not. We may be starved for entertainment, but let's not fill up on junk food.

Monday, May 08, 2006

"Measuring" up to the Greeks

The youth minister at my church and I had a discussion the other day concerning exercise as we are both enthusiasts. He brought up this site which calculates your "ideal" Greek measurements based on your wrist size.

So pull out the old tape measure, and let the good times role.

Bonds, Bonds, Bonds, Bonds, Bonds

Barry Bonds makes me want to vomit. His family makes me want to vomit. ESPN makes me want to vomit.
It's not secret, and it's been often discussed here on the Affect that ESPN is locked in a downward spiral. I was watching the Event Formerly Known As Sportscenter (henceforth, EFKAS) this morning and I tuned in just in time to see Plays of the Week. There's no better time to watch PotW than baseball season to witness the dazzling array of great fielding and clutch hitting that takes place weekly in MLB. This week's PotW didn't disappoint, until we got to numero uno. And you can guess what that was.

Barry Bonds, again. Ugh. Homerun number 713, one shy of Babe Ruth. As if Bonds in and of himself doesn't turn the stomach enough with his arrogant jerk-like attitude and cry-for-me whinings to the media, to mention him in the same breath as Ruth is stomach pump material.

So he didn't beat Ruth, he's not the best power hitter in baseball anymore, but he's number one on PotW again.

And that's not all. PotW takes place at the end of EFKAS. So I stayed tuned in to see some highlights of the Spurs/Mavericks game, which I thought would lead off EFKAS. After all, it's a Western Conference Semifinal and it was a great game I didn't get to finish watching. During the opening teaser, EFKAS teased that game, the Cavs/Pistons debacle, and several other things. But they opened up with...BARRY BONDS!

And not just Barry Bonds. But 1,312 angles of his homerun. Pictures of his mom jumping up and down in the stands. Luckily, no picture of his scowlfaced daughter grimacing into the camera as she begs the pitcher to "PITCH TO MY DADDY!" But then the follow up press conference and an on the scene report.

It's important to note that Babe Ruth DOESN'T hold the home run record. In fact, Bonds probably doesn't have a steroid laced prayer of catching Hammering Hank Aaron this season. But we're going to see week after week, home run after home run, indepth coverage that trumps CNNs Iraq reports. And no one cares. Not me, not you, not anyone.

So EFKAS, you continue to make me vomit.

Keith, you need to be more careful...

If you click on the title, I've linked you to the story about Keith Richards and how he is now recovering from recent surgery to relieve pressure inside his head after taking a bit of a tumble.

It doesn't say specifically in this story, but for those of you who haven't been keeping up with Keith, he fell out of a palm tree or coconut tree he climbed in Fiji. Now why a 62 year-old man decided to climb this tree, I'll never know. But I'll bet that most people are saying, "Well, that's just Keith being Keith."

Personally, I'm concerned and I'll tell you why. It's pretty known far and wide that Keith hasn't met a drug or intoxicating beverage that he hasn't tried or enjoyed on a regular basis. So jokes about his extensive drugs and alcohol use are common and it concerns me that this great guitarist could do something like... Oh, I don't know, fall out of a stinkin' palm tree he had no business climbing and killing himself adding new punchlines to all of the jokes.

Keith is one of the best guitarists that ever lived. Sure most people know the Stones for Mick Jagger, but Keith is the backbone and as comedian Tim Wilson would say, "That Keith Richards can play a damn guitar."

Keith needs to be concerned with his legacy at this point. He has tons of money and that's all well and good, but we are talking about The Stones for cryin' out loud. Having the lead guitarist for The Stones die because he fell out of a tree, while possibly drunk (you never know), can turn the legacy of a great rock 'n' roll band into something out of "This is Spinal Tap."

Next thing you know, Charlie Watts will spontaneously combust and the rest of them will all continue to die Hanna-Barbera-style deaths until you won't be able to listen to another Stone's song again. They'll be ruined just like WCW wrestling killed Jimi's "Voodoo Chile" by making it Hulk Hogan's entrance music. Those a-holes.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Alias: any redeeming qualities?

Well after five LONG years wading through 2 and 1/2 bad seasons, we are getting answers to the questions posed in the first season. I am regaining some interest at this point, but if JJ Abrams had had any idea what he was doing, he could have prolonged this ride a lot further. All he would have had to do was answer all the original questions and then pose fresh one after that. Too bad I guess, but as the ride comes to an end I can't wait to see the last three episodes.

Secrets and auctions?

Well, there is a belated baby update to be added to the yea old ia. We have had the ultrasound which reveals the sex of baby. One of us knows the sex, but no one else does. So, I know what we're having and the toast is in the dark. Some of our family members are providing harrassment, but so far I haven't been broken.

I suggested an auction in which the highest bidder could also know the sex a little early with proceeds going toward baby gear. I think one of my inlaws would throw down the big bid.

Alas, this idea was poo poo-ed.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Nothin' but a good (sad) time in The Metal Years.

Good news, good news, May is Metal Month on VH1 and VH1 Classics. Ah, metal, a musical genre near and dear to my heart. I admit it, I am a metalhead. I still am to this day. I have already watched the 40 greatest metal songs in the history of history. Last night, as I was going through my guide, I noticed that next Thursday two new Behind the Musics will premiere. The focus of these new episodes? Ratt and Pantera. Two of my favorites. Ask Bratch, I always thought Ratt got the short end of the glam/hair metal stick. They were just as important as Motley Crue.

Anyway, last night I watched a documentary called The Decline of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years. This doc focused on metal in the late 80’s. It was all at once funny and sad. To see what these idiots looked like and most of them drunk or high during interviews were so crazy. Ozzy, Lemmy, Dave Mustaine, and Poison played a big part in the doc as the ones who “made it.” They talked about what it was like before the fame and money, they talked about girls and drugs and alcohol, and some even warned against becoming a rock star.

The sad part was all the bands that never made that the doc focused on. I should say that at the time of the doc, these bands did not know that they didn’t make it. Every one of them was asked what they would do if they didn’t make it. None of them believed they wouldn’t. They all were confident they would be huge. Those who did answer the question of what they would do if they didn’t make it said they would kill themselves or become a bum because they did not know how to do anything else but rock. Well, that is a little funny.

Then we move to the weirdest/saddest part of the doc. The director was interviewing Chris Holmes, guitarist for W.A.S.P., at his home. I assume it was his home; he was in the swimming pool in some sort of floaty chair in his leather pants and leather shirt. He was also s*@t-faced drunk. He was talking about how many women he had had at one time, how he was a full blown alcoholic, and how he would rather be broke and happy than rich and what he was now. Did I mention he did this entire interview in front of his mother? There’s the sadness. He had several bottles of vodka floating in the pool with him and at least two times he opened one up and just turned it up and drank for about 10 to 15 seconds. It was very uncomfortable to watch. Click the link to check this part of the movie out.

This doc is not on video or DVD and that is a shame. If you have any interest, you will just have to check your guide on VH1 or perhaps VH 1 Classics to rerun this later in the month. It’s a scene, man.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I haven't tried Second Life... But I'm scared.

After reading this, check out the link to Second Life. I hope I can explain the concept to you because even with all of the information on the Second Life web site, I'm not sure if it fully explains the idea.

I heard about Second Life from Adam Curry on his Daily Source Code podcast. The best way I can explain it is that Second Life is like the Matrix without all of the kung fu fighting Actually, there probably is some fighting. Another way to explain it would be that it's like using MSN or AOL Instant Messenger except there is a world for you to walk around in instead of simply watching a text screen on your desktop.

According to the web site you can log on and walk around the world for free. Or at least free for a while. After that you pay $10 to get fully involved. Then once they have their hooks in you pay $10 a month for a premium account and a little bit for services and you can pay a small monthly fee if you purchase land and build things.

Yes, you can purchase land. A 512 square meter plot will cost you like 5 bucks a month all the way up to an island that will cost you nearly $200 a month. That is real money by the way. More on that later.

Little services can cost only a few cents. You can purchase "services" from cyber hookers. And I'm pretty sure you do actually pay. It might be just 10 cents or a quarter, but either way, you're a John. Besides, I think you might have to buy some parts before you can do that anyway.

One U. S. dollar is equal to 250 Linden dollars, the currency for Second Life. The free membership gives you 250 Lindens and 50 per week as long as you login weekly, but I'm thinkin' that 50 Lindens won't go very far. With that cash you can build stuff in the public building areas to get the idea of how things work. And if you can't script or figure out how to build things, just buy them from other people who know how. You can build cars or planes or whatever.

Curry bought some land and built a castle. Some of the things he did to his castle was decoration and things like that cost small amounts of money. This past weekend he actually threw a party with music and everything and about 50 people showed up. It was a good party because several people "got laid" and his Second Life neighbors did come by and complain about the noise later that day.

You can play music and screen video and all kinds of crazy stuff. It's basically the new cyber-crack.

I just got my first computer when message boards were all the rage back in '96. About a week into my new Gateway 200 Mhz Pentium Pro, real-time chat began. Rooms were tough to find but you could sit in a room and chat to actual people across the world. Real-time chatting was cyber-crack. Once you got hooked it was tough to get away.

Now chat rooms suck. Too many kids getting online just so they can curse and flame people and too many people are in the rooms. In the beginning people would just get online to see if it worked and now Second Life could end up being the uncut funk of cyber-crack.

Here's my theory. Most everyone has heard of telecommuting to work. Instead of physically taking yourself to work, you just turn on your computer and hook up with headquarters. If you need to talk to someone you just jump on an instant messenger and have a video conference with a camera and mic and send or view files accordingly. In all actuality, I could do this on Tuesday's with my job if everything would go like it's supposed to. But it doesn't, so I digress.

With Second Life, there could be a virtual workplace. You could have business meetings in your Second Life offices instead of having people drive or even fly in from God-knows-where. Anything on your computer can be played or viewed in Second Life. Music, video, movies and presentations. Imagine if someone bought some land and created a movie theater that would play the newest leaked out blockbuster film that hasn't even hit the theaters yet. Or for Seinfeld fans, imagine if they played bootleg movies.

I know it sounds over the top and you probably think I'm crazy, but it's really not that far fetched.

What's the harm? A little bit won't hurt. The first taste is free.

Tool's 10,000 Days is worthy of your hard earned dollars.

Click the link for a review of Tool’s new album, 10,000 Days. I just got this CD yesterday and I have only listened to it once, but it is an excellent CD. If you like prog rock, if you like metal, if you like all kinds of different music, I highly recommend this CD.

Tool has mastered that “Tool” sound they have. It is a very bassy, rhythmic sound. When you hear a Tool song, you know immediately it is a Tool song, and that is not a bad thing. I was never really into Tool, until one day when I was doing my radio show; I received a copy of Tool’s greatest hits. It was a CD that only radio received. I stole that when I left the radio station and listened to it for months. I became a hard core fan and I think you will too if you check this CD out.

I am not sure about the packaging worldwide, but my CD packaging was a little different. My CD “case” came with Stereoscopic Glasses. What is that? Well, I am not sure, but it is cool as hades. The CD booklet has no words, other than the song titles, but it does include many pictures. In fact on every page it has two pictures side by side and they are exactly the same. You take you Stereoscopic Glasses and look through them at the pictures. You focus your eyes and the two become one. The one picture you now see is in 3-D. The objects all have depth and if you were a drug user, this would freak you out. A bonus in addition to the great music.

Go to Amazon and listen to the snippets they have for each song and if you think you might be interested in the least, go to Target or Best Buy and plop down $10 or $11. It will be the best $10 you have spent this week and even if it isn’t you would have just spent it on porn anyway.

Did you see Lost last Night?!? I mean, did you see it?!?

If you have not watched last night’s episode of Lost, then you do not want to read any further, because I am going to go off!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t understand why they would kill Ana Lucia and Libby (assuming Libby is dead). As I have made clear before, I loves me some Michelle Rodriguez, and I know she has had some scrapes with the law, but who among us hasn’t.

One person I was watching this with last night came out of his chair when Michael shot Ana Lucia. He then fell to the floor when Michael shot Libby. The babe quotient is dropping precipitously. The producers are going to have to start showing Kate much more to keep my male hormones invested in this show.

The other thing that happened last night, the thing I would have termed the big surprise until the gunfire, was Ana Lucia seduced Sawyer to get his gun and kill fake Henry. As far as I can remember this is the first island hook up. As I said, that was crazy and then all hell breaks loose.

I can only assume that Michael was caught and held captive by the others. They decide to let him go so he could go back and release their man being held captive in the hatch. I also assume that they either promised they would return Walt or they promised they would kill Walt if he didn’t do as they said. I just wish there was someone else guarding Henry. I hope that Libby is not dead because we need to find out what her deal is and there needs to be someone who knows what Michael did. I assume she will be in a coma of some sorts and we may get her back-story in flashbacks while she recovers, much like Tony Soprano.

I just hope Kate watches her back. If she goes down, I’ll walk off this mothertrucker!!

A Good Reason to Hate High Gas Prices

I've always been a guy who believes in simple pleasures. The smells of spring, sitting on a porch talking, enjoying a sporting event, etc. One thing I've always really liked is driving. Sometimes that means I like to give it a little more gas than I should. Sometimes that just means a nice drive out in the country discovering where roads lead and generally getting lost.

Well there's one simple pleasure that has been stolen from us. I abhor driving now. Not the act itself, but I can't divorce the act from the cost in my mind. When you live on a tight budget, which most of us do I assume, every cost is considered. Dropping 30-40 at the pump once a week is a big one.

I drive a Nissan Altima. So I don't consider myself "part of the problem." But gas still crunches my family's budget. So I don't drive anymore than I have to. I haven't been to Nashville (just an hour from my house) since my son was born in November. We used to go at least once a month for a nice dinner or an occassional show or hockey game. No more.

Actually, I've been twice, but to the airport to pick up relatives. In and out. No leisure, no fun.

So there's yet another good reason to hate high gas prices. Now driving is no longer fun. The next time you hear about outrageous oil company profits, or hear some politician act like they're shocked by a gas situation that's been brewing since before Carter was in the White House, just think of one simple pleasure they've taken from you in the name of profits and tax revenues.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

This paper dispenser will self-destruct in five seconds...

Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? Mission Impossible 3 starring Kooky Tom Cruise opens this Friday and the movie studio came up with a great idea to promote it. (As if there hasn’t been enough promotion, as if there is one person in the free world that doesn't know about this movie.) The studio put a small digital music player in 4,500 LA Times dispensers and every time someone opened up the bin to get their paper, the Mission Impossible them song played. It doesn’t sound too bad. It may even be kind of cool. It didn’t work out that way for one dispenser, however.

Someone put their quarter in and opened the door to get their paper and noticed this small box inside the dispenser. The small box had wires coming out of it. The person freaked and called the law. The law arrived and decided to blow up the dispenser just to be safe. So, now there are 4,499 dispensers with small digital music players.

In this day in time, post 9/11, couldn’t they have made the device small enough to not be seen by freaked out LA-ians? There were other calls to law enforcement officials about other strange wired boxes in paper dispensers. Isn’t there a better way to spend money? I imagine that many of the small players have been stolen. Now that the readers know that this won’t blow them up, they now have a MI: 3 souvenir.

American Idol is heating up and cutting down.

Like you even care what I think about the subject, American Idol is nearing the end. After tonight’s cut, there will be four left. Who will those four be? I know who three will be for sure. McPhee, who just gets hotter and hotter every week, will make the final four because of her quasi-lap dance performance last night. If she doesn’t win this thing, maybe she will talk with Playboy. Chris is a lock because he had the best performance with the great Styx song, Renegade. Taylor will make it because everyone loves the twitchy freak.

As for the last in the final four, I’m not sure. Paris has been in the bottom three recently and she did not do a good job on my personal favorite Prince song. Elliot didn’t do anything for me either. I believe Elliot will go tonight for no other reason than Paris is the only one left who fits the true American Idol characteristics.

Chris is too rocky, Taylor is too old looking/Joe Cockerish, Elliot is too weaselly/boring, and McPhee, besides being hot as hades, is not that great a performer. I also think that Mcphee is not the typical “pop” singer; actually none of them are, except Paris. Paris is young, she can sing, and she can perform. She should win the whole thing, but she won’t. If AI winners actually did sell records after they won, I would expect Paris' records to be the one AI's audience would buy. Teens and "pop" fans would eat her up, once again, that is if every AI winner actually sold a ton of records.

It looks to me like Chris and Taylor will make the final two and Taylor will win the whole thing. I do believe that neither wants to win. I don’t think a win helps them anymore than a loss at this point. If Chris or Taylor wants to be taken seriously as an artist, they both probably want to go soon. It will take them years to come out from under the AI stigma. Look a Kelly Clarkson. It took her 3 or 4 years to truly hit it big. I think Elliot, Paris, and McPhee all want to win. A win for them will work better for their styles/look. Unfortunately, Elliot and Paris will be leaving this week and next and McPhee hasn't got the personality to match up with Chris and Taylor.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Chevron's earnings up 49 percent... How does that make you feel?

OK folks, as your friend and mine, Dr. Phil would say, it's time to get real. I was surfing the net a little while ago and noticed that Chevron, our nation's second largest oil company, reported on April 28 that their quarterly earnings were up 49 percent to $4 billion dollars.

Yes, $4 BILLION. That's a number four with nine zeros and three commas behind it. So many zeros and commas that we just type in "billion" because it's hard to keep track of that many zeros and commas. Exxon also had its largest first-quarter earning in history at $8.4 billion in profits. Yes, that's profit. Apparently, a billion dollars doesn't go as far as it used to.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that since gas was roughly $2.89 at the time of this report (about $3.10 now), we aren't consuming 49 percent more gas as a country.

Here's some math for you. If you take the cost of gas at the time of this report, $2.89, and subtract... Oh, let's say 49 percent from it, what do you get?

About $1.47, a reasonable gas price in this day and age. At $1.47, Chevron's earnings are "normal" at roughly $2 billion. Meaning that's what they average and at $2 billion they are still the second largest oil company in this country and it doesn't cost $65 for me to fill up.

The problem I have with the explanation of the high prices is that oil companies always say that prices are going to go up this time of year in anticipation of the summer driving season. I'll admit that people might be more inclined to go places in the warmer months. I'll admit that many will take vacations, but I think they are blowing this driving season thing out of proportion.

When it gets warm, how many times have you heard someone say, "Hey it's warm and pretty outside how 'bouts me and you go drive around in my hotbox of a car for a while and sweat." You can make the air conditioning argument, but if you have to roll up the windows and run the A/C, you are driving because you have to and not because you want to.

Leisurely Sunday drives are a thing of the past. People will increase their driving somewhat, but I doubt it will be enough for the oil companies to hint around at raising prices to $4 and $5 per gallon. I don't know a single person that simply drives a whole lot more when it gets warm. Maybe some local little league games and a vacation to Florida for some folks, but Piccu and I make up for it by not going anywhere but work and home.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't buy it. When it's warm we have the "summer driving season." In the fall and early winter it's the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's "holiday driving season." So technically we are in the only non-driving season right now and Chevron is doubling its profits.

We can call it the "profitable driving season." Where oil companies raise their prices and lower their volume of production in anticipation of the "summer driving season" where they'll raise prices due to demand because they lowered their volume of production during the non-driving season.

The crazy thing that I've been thinking about is what if a car company actually builds a super fuel efficient line of cars that actually saves money in the long run? What if Thomas Kasmer and his Hydristor actually doubles the world's gas mileage cutting our fuel needs in half?

When Exxon gets used to making $8.4 billion per quarter at current prices and volume what happens if we only need half of the oil we do now and they are only making $4 billion? In the books, that's a 50 percent loss in profits. That's not a good thing in business and they'll have to do something to fix it.

And no matter what solution anyone comes up with, we'll always need oil. We may not need oil-based fuels in the future, but we'll always need oil for lubrication and a quart of motor oil is pretty cheap and always has been.

TV's biggest time of year is here. Finale!!!

Sweeps and finale time is here in TV Land and I am interested in many that will be on. As most of you now, I am a TV and movieaholic. I waste more time watching other people’s fake lives. What are you gonna do?

Anyway, I have linked a Yahoo piece that runs through the finales and special episodes coming up and I figured I would weigh in on some, since I really have nothing to do here at work right now.

Quite a few shows are leaving the airwaves this spring, most I could not care less about. I used to watch Malcolm in the Middle and liked it but it started getting old for me so good riddance. I used to be a big fan of That 70’s Show and I will probably watch the finales for it. It suffered from the same problem that Malcolm and most shows that last 9 or 10 years suffer from, getting old. It is hard, I’m sure to come up with new stuff every year and some shows just run their course and limp into the sunset. Will and Grace is gone, the only thing that will be missed is Jack and Karen, the best things about the show. I will not miss seeing a big name guest every week, It kind of turns the show into Saturday Night Live. It’s like tonight’s guest host is J-Lo. I think W & G suffered for that.

I am going to miss Alias. I was on the band wagon early and often and I will never forgive the rest of the TV population for not joining me. A super hot, super spy? Who can’t get behind this show? Then they add Rachel Nichols to the cast? Woo, woo, woo, woo!! Now it will be gone. I can only hope Sidney Bristow goes out in a blaze of glory and some trashy lingerie. That is the only show that we know is leaving that I will miss.

Big season finales coming up for some shows, but the one I can’t wait for is Veronica Mars. Why is this? Well, besides it being the best show on TV, I know that the season long mystery will be solved. That how it went last year and I am sure that is how it will go this year. We will find out who blew up the busload of kids and sent them over the cliff to their watery grave. If you have never seen this show, I beg of you, check it out. Great writing, great characters and great acting, you can’t beat that. I will say that if this show is cancelled I will never watch network TV again. I mean never.

I am also looking forward to 24's finale and seeing Jack Bauer torture more people. I am looking forward to Lost’s finale, but I know it will only leave me asking more questions instead of answering the ones I already have. I still think that this show should end in 3 or 4 seasons because I think it will suffer the longer it goes and the more the writers have to keep coming up with stuff to keep us hooked. I still fear this thing will go for 10 years and will get cancelled before the whole thing is explained.

There you go, some TV dinner for thought. Don’t let it give you indigestion.