Sunday, October 30, 2005

Naphthalene High

This morning in church marked the first time I actually had to cover my nose because something smelled so bad. The chemists in the audience may already know this, but naphthalene is better known as moth balls.

I was sitting in church today and during the Lord's prayer, which I might add is three-fourths of the way through the service, the side door slammed and this old bat came strolling in. She sat right next to me and was a fairly well dressed typical seventy something church lady.

I admit that my nose is sensitive, but she smelled of moth balls. Not just smelled of them, rather she smelled like she had her pockets full and had rolled in some out on the church lawn before coming in. After a couple of minutes my eyes were watering and my head was throbbing. It was at this point I actually reached up and covered my nose with my hand.

Finally, I looked over at french_toast and asked if she smelled that. She answered me with a resounding yes before I even got the question out. To make matters worse, because she was late she didn't have a bulletin and strolled over to ask me the last hymn number and then decided to stay over there for the song. It was almost too much.

So, as I sat there in agony I theorized what exactly was the cause of all of this nonsense. Could she not smell that? Was she as high as a kite? Well, I speculate that she pulled her little suit jacket and pants out of the closet with the onset of cooler weather, immediately prior to jumping in the car for church. This is probably the first time since last January that these things out of the moth ball protected box.

As the hand bells were being played (the lemur is in fact one of the tinn tibulators as they are called), sat there wondering if it was the last sound I would here before being overcome by fumes.

The whole scenario really begs the question, who really uses mothballs anyway? At some point in history were there giant moths just waiting to pounce? I'm not sure but if I smell moth balls ever again after that experience then it will be too soon.


Piccu said...

I smell what you're cooking. Moth balls are unbelievably nasty. Perhaps her whole house smells like this and she just does not notice the smell. She may be used to it.

Maybe instead of going deaf or blind she is losing her sense of smell. Is that possible? I thought I read in a magazine that as we age our sense of smell degrades. Or maybe it was our sense of taste. Next time take a gas mask.

my_merlin77 said...

If these woman's house smells like this, then it would be a wonder she has any surviving brain cells.