Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Weekly RockStar:SuperNova Roundup

This week may have been the best week yet, performance-wise. Either that or they all pretty much sucked equally, well, all but one girl from Long Island.

The show started off with Patrice and she sang Higher Ground, Chili Peppers style. Tommy Lee played drums during this song and I had forgotten how good he was. I spent more time watching him rock out than I did Patrice, that can’t bode well. This was Patrice’s best performance, but she has no shot at the win.

Next we have Josh singing a ridiculous Sublime song. I have to give the dude credit, he sang pretty well this week, but he IS weak and has no shot at the win.

Next we have Dilana, why is she in this slot? She sang I Can’t Get Enough by Bad Company. She is amazizizing. She looked like Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P. in that outfit and with that hair. She also stole a page from Bon Scoot as she was carried back to the stage on the shoulders of some dude. I think that she should win right now. She is always her own woman and just seems so genuine out there. She will never be bottom three.

Now on to Toby, who sings another fricking Nirvana song. Let’s stop this Nirvana stuff, can we? Anyway, he was ehhhh, not that great. He broke out a Rock Squat and debuted the first Rock Lunge as he worked the crowd in to a lukewarm frenzy. He has a nice voice, but he looks so bland to me. He has an outside shot at the win.

Zayra is next and she sings one of my favorite songs, 867-5309(Jenny) by Tommy Tutone. She has a nice arrangement with Offspring sounding guitars. Her singing is just barely passable, but I don’t care. I am not sure she knows that 867-5309 is a phone number and she is dressed like a crazy homeless person. I am slowly but surely coming around on her. Every week she takes a chance and she is always original. She is so bad she is good. She may not go in the bottom three tonight. With all that being said, she has no shot to win. Perv Alert! Perv Alert! Tommy Lee!

Magni is next and sings a Coldplay song that does not rock. He is all right, but this wasn’t his best. I do see him as having a good shot to win. During his talk with the band about missing his child and wife, I see Storm faking sadness like she fakes her rock star lead singer persona.

We now have Jill singing Don’t You Forget About Me and she just SCREAMS it out. Not good at all. The band looked unimpressed during her performance and pretty much said so after the song. We also found out why T-Lee won’t be singing lead. I do like Jill’s stomach. Perv Alert! Perv Alert! Piccu!

Ryan is next and I can hardly look at this guy. He always looks p*^#ed off. He sings Losing My Religion and it is him and a piano and some strings doing the performance. That’s him in the corner, that’s him in the spotlight sucking. I think I thought I saw you suck. He has no shot at winning. Storm is shown on TV fake caring about his performance.

We now have UDO or Lukas and he sings Celebrity Skin, one of the few Hole songs that I like. He doesn’t know the words and still performs better than half the group. Not his best, but better than most. He has a shot at the win. He needs to keep his eyebrows under control.

Storm Large comes on and sings Bowie’s Changes and surprise, surprise, she does great. I thought it was by far her best, simply because she just sang the song. Even Newsted said it was great to see her just sing and not be so overdramatic. See, he thinks she is faking as well.

Dana is up and she sings Baba O’Riley. Calling American Idol! Calling American Idol! We have a contestant for you over here! Rock Squat!! She is not cut out for this and if she thinks chugging a beer and getting a tattoo will make her more of a “rocker” then she is sadly mistaken.

I have already written too much and only two of you even care about this show so here are my bottom three and the one who goes home tonight. I think Toby will be there because he is long overdue, I think Zayra will be there just because she is there every week and I think Jill will be there as well because she just sucks. I think this is the end for Jill and she will be sent home, thankfully.


Travis said...

I have been sucked in by the powerful vortex of Rockstar:Supernova. Why? Because it litters the Affect week in and week out and because summer TV is as exciting as the NFL draft.

I'll disagree about the Losing My Religion take. That guy rocked it out. It's not a song I like all that much, but that was a doggone good performance. I can't believe your take on that.

The Canadian stinks. He mumbled the entire song and when he didn't, he still ruined it. A good song butchered by a Canadian.

Changes was actually pretty good. Not great, but pretty good.

I STILL do not see Dilana. I just don't get it. I think she's pretty good for a rock chick, but she doesn't blow me away.

Everyone else was utterly forgettable. Except for Zayra, which I will never forget. Even with all the therapy Mel Gibson can afford, I'll never forget that.

BRATCH said...

Zayra is hot and that's pretty much it. She could go to Europe and make a great living just dancing to eletronica and industrial music.

Like Dave Navarro said on his blog, Zayra is entertaining because it's a train wreck on stage every night.

The only problem this week is that Jill and Zayra are monopolizing the bottom three every week so it'll be a coin flip to see who leaves this week. Zayra should because she's there all the time and is horrible, but Jill was a loser coming in.

Let's be real, most all of them were, but whereas American Idol shows the tryouts with sucky singers, Rockstar had to throw in some good singers that are so tame it's uncomfortable to watch in a real rock show.

In my opinion this whole thing is coming down to Magni and Dilana. I honestly thing Magni wins because when Dilana gets fired up she loses control of her extremities.

Supernova can't project strength with a crazy chick flopping around the stage like that fish in the Faith No More video.

Piccu said...

No one has ever said this show was good, it stinks, but that is why you can't look away. I haven't been this sucked into a show since Lost debuted.

As for Ryan and his piano ballad, I just don't like the guy and to see his grimacing sourpuss every week taints my take on his performances. This may have been his best performance, but he has no chance. He doesn't look like he wants to be there.

As for Dilana, I am not saying she is the greatest lead singer in the world, but in this world of RockStar:SuperNova, she is head and shoulders above the rest. She is always memorable and she is always original. That can also be said about Zayra, but in a totally different way.

As for the fish in the Faith No More video, it would have a better shot at fronting this band than all but four of these people.

Piccu said...

Last night I thought one of the two girls that weren't Jill got cheated. Toby should have been down there in the bottom three last night. Patrice had her best performance Tuesday and I thought Dana did alright. Jill should have been the one to go because her Tuesday night performance was so grating that my ears are still trying to recover.

With that being said, all three of these ladies will be going in the future anyway so it really doesn't matter.

I have to tell you, the more I see Ryan and his always angry look, the more I cannot stand him. I wanted Josh gone from the beginning, but I really want Ryan gone. He is not right and he never looks like he is glad to be there. In a word, he sucks.