Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Weekly Rockstar:SuperNova Analysis

Here is the weekly RockStar:SuperNova update because I got up at 7 instead of 12 PM today.

The show kicks off with Brooke and the boys talking about us getting our chance to get tickets to the “massive” world tour of Supernova. I wonder how massive this will be. If it is an arena tour, I can’t see this being very successful. Maybe if they went the club route and smaller venues they could have a nice tour. We will have to wait and see. One other thing before I get into the performances, does Dave Navarro ever button his shirt?

Leading off the show we have Patrice singing an original song of hers. She has a cool guitar, I dig that. That giant tat on her arm is really annoying me, but her song is not bad. This is probably her best performance, but not very memorable. She needs to go, like 4 weeks ago. She should be grateful she has made it this far. If she doesn’t go this week, I am calling shenanigans.

Next we have Magni and his giant ears. They are so huge and bulbous that he looks like he is wearing a Russian cosmonaut helmet. He sings Smells like Teen Spirit, Bratch’s favorite song ever, and does fine. He is just solid, unfortunately I do not think the voting audience cares too much for him. I thought the house band sucked on this song, first one this year. T-Lee has been harping on people playing the guitar and not being able to be free and move around and now he wants Magni to play the guitar. Make up your mind, idiot! For future reference, Dave and T-Lee want someone to throw their guitar or just destroy something before the season is over.

Now we have Ryan doing an original tune. Only this jackass could write a rock song about sex and make it angry, whiny and angst ridden. What a tool. I hate him. Sample lyric, “It is the perfect time of night/ To be losing your clothes now.” He is a regular Bob Dylan. I just hate his whiny voice. Dave and T-Lee wanted some destruction, so right on cue Storm…I mean Ryan throws his guitar. I expected this move from Storm not Ryan. Magni looks crushed and annoyed all at the same time. Ryan sucks and I hope he leaves tonight. But first I want to know what is up with that stupid armband he always wears.

Now we have Storm Large singing Cryin, not one of my favorites, but she does a great job, well, except for the high notes at the end. We get a rock squat from her and an original stage move, Storm doesn’t have many of those. Storm breaks out the crazy eyed Frankenstein walk. I can’t believe anyone else does that, so she must have come up with that herself. She may get an add into the Rock ‘N’ Roll Lead Singer’s Handbook that she has been stealing from this entire season. I think she is a lock for top 3 or 4. I am actually growing to like her.

Bully for Storm as she calls Dave on his stupid "honeys" and "sweeties." How does he get though life calling every women that. In this neck of the woods he would get the taste slapped out of his mouth, honey.

Next we have my girl, Dilana singing Every Breath You Take. Once again she does great, but was she trying to harness her chi in the beginning with the breathing exercises? Those eye lashes were scary, but her eyes were hypnotizing me. I think she actually started to chant her own name in the middle of it, but that’s ok because she is the hands down leader and will win this thing.

Now on to Toby singing Layla. I think this was his best performance. I loved the arrangement and he sang well and put on a great show. This may save him for the next couple of weeks. He is rising.

Udo(Lukas) is up next and is singing a Killers song, a Killers song I love, but not when Lukas sings it. I am starting to get really annoyed with his voice after I thought it was a cool sound in the beginning of the season. It is starting to grate on me. He is out of breath by the end and it was a putrid display, except for the fact that Dave and SuperNova loved it. What? What the hell does, “Two words, check please” mean, T-Lee? Did you like it or hate it? Udo is an also ran to me now.

The bottom three this week, let me see, Patrice, no doubt will be there, I am praying Ryan will be because he sucks, and I think Lukas deserves to be. I also believe Storm will be in the running and so will Toby according to preliminary results before the show ended. With only seven remaining, I would not be surprised to see a double cut tonight, but I think Patrice definitely will go. I just hope Storm doesn’t have a heart attack when someone is announced in the bottom three. And by the by, did we really need to se T-Lee tongue kissing Gilby’s pooch at the end of the show? I guess that dude WILL hump anything.


Travis said...

Dave Navarro is a huge tool.

Had to get that out of the way. He's the worst part of the show. Even worse than Tommy "I Have Nothing To Offer Except Sex References and Banging Drum Solos" Lee.

You're wrong again, Ryan was good. In fact, that song was pretty doggone good.

Patrice is the most boring act in rock n roll history. I bet Gunner and Matthew Nelson even turn it when she comes on.

Magni was just ok.

Dilana was pretty good this week. After the opening line anyway. The breathing was as hokey as it was annoying. But she got it going.

I agree, it was Toby's best performance. He did a great job and I too really liked the arrangement (take that Gilby!)

Storm I thought was ok at best. I turned to Liz while she was on and said, "If you walked into a karaoke bar, and Storm was singing Cryin this way, you'd walk right back out." The wild eyes made her look ultra-frightening. I wish Dave and T-Lee would sleep with her already and shut up about it.

Lukas I've never liked and now like even less. Ruined that song. Ruined it.

Bottom 3: Lukas, Patrice, Storm

Bye bye Patrice, it's been a long time coming.

BRATCH said...

I'll tell you why I can't stand Lukas.

His voice sounds like it takes all of the energy he can muster to make it work. Not only is he tired by the end of a 3 minute song, but the audience is too.

While they don't sound anything alike, that's why I can't listen to much of Bruce Springsteen's music. He sings like he's bracing for a gut kick and it's exhausting to listen to.

You can't blame Magni for a crappy song and Ryan is still a tool. What about the line that at the end of the world "Some people are in church and some people are screwin'."

They talk about his evolution throughout the show, but to me the first few weeks showed the real people. Dilana, Magni, Toby and Lukas may have improved their performing, but they haven't dramatically changed.

Everyone else is just pretending to be something they're not or in Patrice's case, just suck.

Travis said...

"While they don't sound anything alike, that's why I can't listen to much of Bruce Springsteen's music. He sings like he's bracing for a gut kick and it's exhausting to listen to."

Hypoctrite Alert!!
Aren't you a fan of both Bon Scott and Brian Johnson?

BRATCH said...

Have you ever heard Bon Scot and Brian Johnson talk? When you hear them sing, you pretty much knew that was how it was going to sound.

Springsteen and Clint Howard(Lukas) don't have to sing like that. Their normal talking voices are 180 degrees from what they sound like when they sing.

And besides, I don't like Lukas' skunk stripe haircut. I did like that guitar player's full mirrored Gibson Explorer last night that Lukas looked into during his performance. That's a brand new guitar design by Gibson.

Travis said...

Sure, sure. Justify it. I don't care how they talk, the comment was about singing.

And I'm not trying to be a Leprochaun-advocate. I can't stand Lukas, his look, his singing, his stage performances, or his skunky hair.

Piccu said...

I think you have a man crush on Udo.