Thursday, September 14, 2006

Survivor: Race Wars should make for interesting TV.

The new TV season has begun on FOX and partly on ABC with the all world craptacular, Dancing with the Stars, but now the rest of the new shows will start up. I had thought about going through each night and giving a rundown of the best shows, but I don’t have that much time on my hands. I will tell you to be sure to watch House and Bones. I will also tell you that you are an imbecile if you do not watch Veronica Mars on the new CW, but more about that at the end of the month. Tonight, we get our first look at the new Survivor, which I am calling Survivor: Race Wars.

If you have been under a rock for the last month or so, here is the premise. The producers have taken contestants and divided them among racial lines. We have a team of Asians, a team of blacks, a team of Hispanics, and a team of whiteys. This sounds like a show to me. People have been going off and predicting the end of the world as we know it, but I am just looking forward to great TV.

I have been a fan of Survivor since the beginning, but the last few seasons have been lackluster. This season they have a provocative premise and if the gameplay is stepped up, then this could be a great comeback for Survivor. I assume that at some point, the tribes will merge together and then we will see if people stay among their own kind no matter what or if they will jump ship if it affords them a better chance of advancing further in the game. Personally, I do not think you can play this game and not backstab your partners. It has been that way since the beginning.

The outrage that I see from people is not unexpected, but I just don’t get it. This is a game, not the end of the world. Are we just too uncomfortable with the loosest thought of segregation? Will the non-white races be running around the jungle singing, “I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see!” I highly doubt it.

A few things we do know is that the Hispanic team will have no problem squeezing a group of people into a small shelter. The black people will not do well in the water challenges. The Asians will use some sort of Zen Buddhist meditation to remain calm and cool in the midst of chaos. And the white folk will feel very uncomfortable throughout the whole season.

That or they will all try to show each race how much they know about and appreciate their culture. You know, telling black players that they love rap music and talking about how many black friends they have. Or telling the Latin players that they love Mexican food and start rolling their R's when saying spanish words. Or with the Asian players they will talk about how they took karate at the age of 8 and tell them that Bruce Lee is their favorite actor.

Before you start to track me down and firebomb me, I am kidding. I think everything will go fine and the only difference between the Asians, Hispanics, blacks and whites will be their skin color. They will play the game for themselves, not their tribemates. They won't care whose throat they cut as long as it gets them a million dollars. That's the American way. It should be a pretty good show, but we all will be hoping for some huge clusterf*^# to occur and push this season in to legendary TV status. That, too, is the American way.


BRATCH said...

"...I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I sEEEeeeeeee.

If I kill all the whities I see, then whitey he won't bother mEEEEEEEEEE.

I'm gonna get me shotgun and kill all the whities I seeeeeeeeeeee."

-- Garrett Morris
Saturday Night Live

Auditioning for the lead role in "Gigi," a prison production stage performance play.

I think we've found our Gigi!

BRATCH said...

A radio show I listen to on XM radio and they watched Survivor: Race Wars last night and they spent several segments this morning picking out all of the stereotypes. I think it will turn into a weekly game.

Piccu said...

I enjoyed the show. It seemed like they focued more on the other races than the white people, which is fine with me because the whites seemed boring. I really like the old vietnamese guy named Cowboy. He was cool. The only problem is that he is older than the rest of them and will probably be the first one gone if the Asians go to tribal council.