Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Subway Nazi

Ok, that's a bit harsh. I'm not dealing with a Subway Nazi, but I am dealing with a type of elitism. Why is it, that people seem shocked and genuinely disappointed in you if you order a sandwich without veggies? Listen, I like salad. I enjoy a nice caesar. I love a salad at Rafferty's where they have that hot bacon/honey mustard dressing. I like a Mariah's salad with the toasted black eyed peas. But I like my sandwiches without veggies. Am I less than human because of it?

Yesterday I pulled through the Subway drive-through and ordered a foot long tuna sub (on wheat, of course.)
The Subway employee with a nice southern accent asked, "What would you like on that sweetheart?"
I replied, "Provolone cheese. "
"Is that it?"
"Yes, thank you."
"You don't want any veggies on it?"
"No, thank you."
"No pickles? No lettuce? No peppers?"
"No, thanks."
"No dressings or anything?"
"No, ma'm"
"Well, alright."

Sheesh. I like tuna salad. I don't need to dress it up. Why is that so taboo? I'm a guy who likes to enjoy simple flavors. When I get a burger, I don't load it down. When I get a steak, I abhor steak sauce (steak sauce is for bad cuts of meat, or overcooked meat.) When I order salmon, I don't want a sauce on it. I want it cooked. Period. I like it that way.

But instead I have a Subway employee, making the big bucks at $6.25/hour, giving me the third degree and making me feel like a lousy human being. Implying through her disgusted tone that I am unpatriotic because I chose that moment to not support America's vegetable farmers! I have a stigma attached to me because when I get a sandwich I just want meat, cheese, and bread.

In the end, I folded and got pickles. She won this battle, but there will be others. I am far from defeated.


BRATCH said...

I'm not sure why you are getting Subway's tuna salad anyway. It's actually salad dressing with a little tuna in it.

And don't think that you caved by getting pickles. They have no nutritional value whatsoever. The pickling process itself takes away all of that. So if you pickled a cheeseburger, it would be like eating a salad.

Travis said...

You're missing the point. Subway's whole selling point is that you can get it your way. When I get it my way, they act as if I'm a circus freak.

Travis said...

Pickles, better than you think

Piccu said...

I thought Burger King's selling point was having it your way? I agree to an extent with your no veggies policy. I like a good burger with meat, cheese and bun. I do not need anything, although sometimes I am in the mood for a dressed burger. I even enjoy french fries without ketchup.

When it comes to cold cuts however, most of the time you need to put all you can on a sandwich to drown out the lips and bungholes taste.

Lady Bird said...

Hey people! Guess who's missing the point? YOU! Hello--why is it that men never know when they are getting flirted with. Like she cares if you get vegis on you sandwich--funny thing is, my husband never gets anything on his sandwich at Subway with the possible exception of extra meat and no one, in my presence, ever questions his decision or calls him "sweetie" (or whatever), but the key words were: "in my presence"!! Take it from a woman, you were getting flirted with--drive thru or no drive thru.