Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A few random facts about CTU agent Jack Bauer.

If you know me, you know that one of my favorite shows on TV right now is 24. Jack Bauer is the best government agent America has to offer. He makes Chuck Norris look like a wussy. In honor of the return of 24 and the return of Jack Bauer from “death,” I have found a few random facts about Jack Bauer. Click the link for more.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

Jack Bauer makes onions cry.

And one more for you real 24 fans, if Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you haven’t figured out by now, do not get on Jack Bauer’s bad side.


BRATCH said...

I think this one might be better than the Chuck Norris facts.

Travis said...

Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk might be the funniest one yet.

Piccu said...

Here's another one. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas

Travis said...

"Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f---ing do it."

We have a new clubhouse leader.

Piccu said...

Here's one ripped off from the Chuck Norris random fact generator but it can be applied to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer's tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately for mankind, Jack Bauer never cries.