My weekly analysis of RockStar begins now. I thought that most of the performances were good last night. I was really impressed by the girl from Long Island singing Alright Now. She belted it, definitely her best performance.
The Puerto Rican chick who sang You Really Got Me last week had the performance of the night. I thought she did a great job on Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. I know that sounds crazy, but she made it a song worth listening to. She rocked it up and her weird vocal style worked. I think she is the next Bjork, not the next big rock singer.
Dilana is still my favorite. She’s irresistible, well, not to Bratch, he loves the Australian. I think it’s a man crush. Dilana did a pretty good job with Zombie and she is definitely still the one to beat in my opinion. Though, there is no way she will win, read further to see why.
The Australian is still the best guy singer, although Udo(Lukas) did a pretty good version of Let’s Spend the Night Together. He is arrogant and unless he alienates the viewing audience, I think he will make top 5.
Here are the bottom three according to my suck-o-meter. I still loathe Josh who sang Nirvana’s Come as You Are last night. As soon as I saw that the backing band had acoustic guitars and a bongo, I knew who was coming up. This guy has taken all the songs he sings and turns them into folk music. The other problem with this dude is that he is smiling ear to ear when he sings, “I promise I don’t have a gun.” Not smiling in a maniacal way, but in a “You sure do look nice today, Ms. Cleaver.” He should be the next Dave Matthews.
Dana sucks, but just for this competition. She should be on American Idol, she is not a rocker. Bratch and I agreed, we always seem to see her as singing Black Velvet or a Melissa Etheridge song every time we hear her voice. She’s gone, she has no charisma.
Storm Large is just not a real person. She has a horrible fake name. She looks like she has memorized the Hair Metal Lead Singer’s Handbook. It doesn’t seem like anything she does is genuine. She seems to be thinking throughout her performance, “Okay, what would Vince Neil do in this situation?” She is the total opposite of Dilana who admittedly does do a crazy chicken dance, but she is her own person, that’s her stage presence, not Sebastian Bach’s
No female will win this gig because Tommy Lee could not respect them for their talent, only their a**. Surely you notice that after ever girl’s performance, he never has any constructive criticism, he just has some stupid double entendre about getting them into the sack. He wanted Storm Large to show more skin, he said he wanted to have sex with Dilana, and it goes on and on. None of the things Tommy Lee says helps these women get better. Then they have to stand up there and flirt back with him. It is pretty disgusting, to tell the truth.
They may pick a chick for this gig but whoever she is, after about 3 months of Tommy trying to get into her pants; she would be wishing she was just the next runner up. Otherwise, I hate this show, but they got their hooks in me. I can’t quit now.