Friday, July 07, 2006

My take on the first kickoff on RockStar. Like you care.

*****Breaking RockStar News*****

I forgot to add this in my original post. I infromed you of the many singers performing rock squats during their songs on the first night, well we now have rockin' jacks. One of the performers, I think it was Mr. Cult of Personality/Switchfoot performed about 6 jumping jacks during his Switchfoot song. This is a new move that the singers can utilize and it has been rechristened, by me, as rockin' jacks. I'm sure if you haven't seen the performance, you can find it on

*****Breaking RockStar News*****

Let me give a quick impression of the first “rocker” kicked off RockStar. America votes on their favorite and the bottom three vote getters get to perform a song of their choice for the band, to try and save themselves. The band then kicks someone off.

The bottom three were the guy who butchered Roxanne, the guy who butchered Cult of Personality, and the guy who sang a Coldplay song. I thought the guy who butchered Roxanne was a little too cocky for someone who sucks BAD. He said that he was one of the greatest rock singers on Earth because he wouldn’t be in this competition if he wasn’t. Actually, Junior, if you were one of the greatest rock singers on Earth, you wouldn’t need this show and you would already be headlining arenas with your own band. He performed LA Woman by the Doors. Once again he sucked. This guy just seems like he is high when he sings, it seems like he doesn’t care about his performance. Somehow this jackass did not get kicked off.

The guy who butchered Cult of Personality sang a Switchfoot song to redeem himself. I don’t think I have ever heard a Switch foot song and I can honestly say he butchered Switchfoot. He is like the Roxanne guy; he seems unconcerned about giving his best. Neither can sing and they should both be kicked off.

Now we come to Mr. Coldplay, Matt Hoffer. He is chided for singing a Coldplay song by Jason Newsted and is asked to bring the rock. Well, Mr. Hoffer sings a Duran Duran song. When Newsted heard that, he almost fell out of his chair. He changed the arrangement and rocked it up a bit but was kicked off the show. I think Hoffer was, as Curly Howard would say, a victim of circumstance. He was not great but he was better than either of the first two. He just got voted off for liking Duran Duran.

As for the rest of the show, the band asked my girl Dilana to perform again and she sang the same Nirvana song and did the same crazy dances. She is frightening. She has a sort of hard drinking biker chick look, but it works. She sounds like Sass Jordan after chain smoking and drinking whiskey all night. Udo, or Lukas to some, tried to be the “bad guy” by asking some to pick the worst in the group. I liked it; you have to be cocky and arrogant. Unfortunately when it came time to name his bottom three he wussed out and hemmed and hawed. Udo is a sellout, but still in second place behind Dilana in my eyes.


Orelinde_03 said...

Dilana I think is going to go far in to the contest because I think the guys like her. Unless she starts singing Britney or Reba songs.

Lucas just turned my stomach with his antics. But I will be fair and give him another chance. He was able to sing. I just want to pop him in the nose right now. The kid who sang Duran Duran almost had ME fall off the couch last night when he said what his choice was.

'Mr. Roxanne/ L.A. Woman' has to go. I did like the Switchfoot guy.

BRATCH said...

If they cut the dude last night because his performance wasn't very good then Dilana has some issues coming up. The "new" is going to wear off with her.

She has the look and has that "I've been smokin' since I was 2" voice that seems to work out, but for the second time she ran around like a soccer mom on stage.

That's the best way I can explain it. It's like they told her to bust loose and act crazy and that's what a house wife would do if she was told to "act crazy."

Just flail around and jump without any concern as to the music or trying to retain any shred of dignity afterward. And you can't project strength after looking like Elaine Benes out there on the stage.

I think I'll refer to her as Little Kicks from now on.

Orelinde_03 said...

I hate to say it, but this is the best programming on the tube at the moment.