Friday, September 16, 2005

Zombies in Ohio County, KY?

I can’t be sure and I have no proof or any way of getting proof, but I believe I saw a couple of zombies in Rosine, KY yesterday. I was out on an addressing run and I was getting on to the beautiful majestic Bill Monroe Blue Moon of Kentucky road and I sped past a couple of crazy looking characters.

One of them was an older man with grey and white hair and a Santa beard. Not a fake Santa beard, at least as far as I could see. His clothes were kind of ratty and he looked like he was dressed for winter. Big flannel shirt over what looked to be two other shirts, if that isn’t zombie behavior I don’t know what is.

He never even looked at me as I passed, even though the both of them were in my lane and not moving to the shoulder to let me by. I thought I was going to have a head on collision with oncoming traffic as I swerved completely out of my lane and into the other to avoid attack.

The female zombie looked at me as I passed and I noticed it had a blank stare in its eyes. It was almost as if it were looking through me or over me. Perhaps, she picked up on the scent of my delicious brain as I sped past. She was also dressed in ratty clothes, but at least the female was dressed for the right climate. She had long stringy hair and she was a stout zombie woman. She was as big as the male zombie. She had eaten a few brains in her time.

While the male looked to be just an old man, the female had some damage to her face; at least it looked like damage. I assume that if in fact these are zombies, then it is reasonable to expect some decaying of the flesh. Her face had an area on it that looked as though it were burned or had had a huge blister on it that popped. (I have even disgusted myself with that mental picture.) Perhaps they had already been in battle and massacred someone. Rob Zombie couldn’t come up with a couple of creepier monsters than these two.

I was not going to turn around and try to follow up on my suspicions and investigate. I like my brain, simple though it may be, it is mine and I need it. I kept on trucking, half expecting to read in the paper about a bloodbath in Horse Branch with a family missing their brains. The only thing that I can think of to explain these rough looking characters, besides them being zombies, is that they must have been visitors from Butler County, KY.

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