Stop the presses, we have big news, bigger news than any old hurricane. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are married, reportedly. Wow, I mean how long have we, the royal we, been waiting for this blessed event.
I know many will be taking bets on how long this thing will last. Many have put the odds at over Kenny-Rene and under Bruce-Demi. I am betting this will last and stand the test of time. When we first heard about this seemingly weird relationship, many were focused on the age of the couple. Ashton was around 18 and Demi was 53, well that doesn’t matter that much because most of Demi’s body parts are just now 13 or 14 years old. Actually, if you take the average age of their complete bodies, Demi is younger than Ashton.
Many others thought that this was just a publicity ploy for Demi’s movie comeback in Charlie’s Angels. I wouldn’t know why anyone would think this. No one in Hollywood would fake a seemingly serious relationship just to sell movie tickets. Besides, they have been together much longer than a good publicity stunt calls for and it’s obvious she is not using him for his hotness and buzz. He is not hot and he has no buzz.
Ashton I am sure will be a great father to the kids that are the same age as he is. I am sure we won’t hear about Ashton and Demi’s impending divorce and Ashton’s engagement to one of the Moore-Willis daughters.
This marriage should bring a new term to the American language, the ex-husband-in-law. Bruce Willis is still really close to Demi, in fact Ashton and Bruce escorted Demi and the kids to the Charlie’s Angels premiere. Maybe they will all be one big happy family. You know how Hollywood people are, freaks.
Anyway, here’s hoping to a long, happy marriage. But not too long or happy, because I have the under on this one.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
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