Just when you thought it was safe to read the news again, the Runaway Bride is back. When will someone find that perpetually surprised freak and put us out of our misery with a well placed kick to her face? She is selling the rights to her story for a half a million dollars and has secured an exclusive interview with Katie Couric for the Today Show. I’m sure Katie is gearing up to ask the tough questions.
What is it like to be known as one of the biggest morons in the universe? What kind of crazy voodoo like spell have you cast over this poor man that you ran out on and wouldn’t it just be easier to kill him? What exactly did you do the whole time you were on the lam? At any time during this brilliant scheme to get out of your wedding, besides just telling this poor weasel you didn’t want to get married, did you think perhaps you took things a tad too far? What is wrong with your eyes? Do you know that your eyes have no pupils? Is it even possible for you to close your eyes, or do you just sleep with your eyes open? Why does the mere sight of you make me so angry? Is it because if you weren’t some crazy woman whose family wasn’t big shots in your small hometown you would be in the can? Why would anyone want to watch your lame Lifetime Movie of the Week in the first place? Why should you be paid for committing a criminal act?
I’m sure those are some of the questions Katie will ask the Runaway Bride. Katie is known for her hard hitting journalistic approach. I won’t be watching, but I will be hoping that anyone who is trying to make money of this insane wench will fail miserably.