Thursday, February 16, 2006

Spin 101 or How to become sheriff after forgetting you left a pipe bomb in the backseat of your police cruiser

I wrote yesterday about the OC becoming the pipe bomb capital of the world and how a candidate for sheriff left a “relleged” pipe bomb in his cruiser for the police chief to find after riding around a few hours. I asked Bratch if there had been any news on his dropping out of the race. He said no and that there was no way he would drop out. Seriously, after something as Barney Fifeish as this, can you really campaign for sheriff or think you still have a shot of even finishing next to last?

I then began to think about how this guy could spin this to his advantage. What would his publicist do about all this? We still do not know if it was in fact a bomb and who knows when we will find out. I think that if it indeed is found to not have been an explosive, that this candidate needs to play up his experience and his eagle eye. In all his many years in the law enforcement game he has seen hundreds, nay, thousands of pipe bombs and that, mister, was no pipe bomb. He needs to publicly castigate the police chief for being such an amateur for calling the FBI or CIA or whoever he called because he was scared something would blow up. The chief didn’t even know it wasn’t a bomb. He should also refer to the chief as Big Baby when discussing this incident. That’s if it is found to have not been an explosive.

If it turns out to have been a “real” pipe bomb, this complicates things more than they are. How does he “spin” out of this one? Here is my thought. He was so less concerned for his own safety that he kept responding to calls from the citizens of Ohio County. He would rather blow up on the way to a break-in than risk someone’s good china by calling in the bomb squad. Pretty good.

That was easy. How do you make the public forgive and more importantly forget that he left the “bomb” in the backseat of his cruiser for the chief to find? Perhaps he so weary, bone weary in fact, from protecting and serving that day that after all the danger he had been in, he simply forgot about the measly little pipe bomb. After pulling a shift in BD, you see things that you want to forget after it’s done. As soon as you step out of the car you leave it all in the cruiser because you can’t take it home with you. Unfortunately for him, he left it all behind figuratively and literally. The one thing he never, never forgot about is his duty to protect the public.

If he follows the path I laid out before him. Well, meet our new sheriff.

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