Speaking of Dick Cheney shooting someone’s face off, here are some jokes from the first round of late night talk shows. For more, click the link.
From "Late Show with David Letterman," CBS:
• "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."
• "But here is the sad part — before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."
• "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC:
• "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.
• "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
From "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central:
• "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."
From "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS:
• "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."
• "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "
• "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."
"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."