Thursday, February 16, 2006

Sivart fixes the Olympics

I want to like the Olympics. Really. No, seriously, I do. But I think when you include sports that, frankly, aren't sports it takes away from it. There are just too many sports with limited or no mass appeal. Here are my suggestions.

Eliminate the following sports from the winter olympics:
curling...sweeping isn't fun, not matter what's chasing you
pairs figure skating... (this has fru-fru written all over it)
I think it's called mogul, where they ski over bumps...go around them!
halfpipe...leave it to the Xgames, which no one watches either

Eliminate from the summer games:
archery...not a sport, it's a skill
badminton...not a sport, it's a BBQ game for prepubescents
boxing...they don't let them box, it's glorified sparring in half speed does the work, horses want hay and to stud, not medals
fencing...Zorro didn't wear pads, wussies on earth can that be popular enough to be international
judo...sounds good, but watching it is a yawn
sailing...not sport, skill, hobby at best each other, yes. at targets, no
table tennis...if it can be played in a church basement it's not a sport

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