It appears that Darwinism has been thwarted…for now. Two idiots in Wisconsin (where else?) decided to do a stunt they saw on one of the Jackass movies. I am not sure what the stunt was, but apparently the two guys thought it involved lighter fluid, a lighter, and a drunken guy’s genitals. The drunken guy pulls down his pants and lets his friend spray him down with lighter fluid. The friend tried to light the fire and when it wouldn’t light, instead of thinking, “Wait a minute, this could be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” he sprays more lighter fluid on his drunken friend.
Well, what do you know; this time the fluid ignites setting his friends hands and schlong on fire. Here’s how I think it went down. The on fire drunk guy first yells out, “Oh (four letter word of your choice)!!!” Then he runs around in a circle for 5 and a half seconds. He then thinks, “Water, I need water!!” He then runs squealing and crying like a drunken little girl to the bathroom and dives into the bathtub. The guy gets put out and then enjoys a nice, but rushed trip to the hospital.
In the aftermath, the drunken friend, with the now crispy fry, suffered serious burns to his hands and his genitals ruining his just purchased subscription to the adult movie service Porn Flixxx. And his friend who sprayed him down and set his c%@k on fire is now being charged with felony battery and first degree reckless endangerment. The friend with the charred pork stick said he didn’t want anyone to get in trouble because of the stunt.
Didn’t want anyone to get in trouble? As far as I am concerned Mr. Fried One Eye is in trouble with a capital P. I read stories like these and I find it hard to feel sorry for anyone involved. And not only are these two guys morons, but there were other people with these two jacknuts who thought this was a great idea.
I have two hopes after reading this story. One is that this guy is never able to procreate. And my second hope is that someone at this party had a video camera and we will see this on YouTube real soon. The only thing better than reading a story about d-bags doing something stupid is seeing the actual footage.