American Idol: The Foul Four

American Idol brought in Barry F’n Gibb last night and his catalog of songs for the contestants to sing. I cringed when I heard everyone was going to sing twice which meant I had to hear Blake twice, but I somehow made it through. And to top it off channel 7 out Evansville (YOU SUCK!!!!!) was being its crappy self giving me a crap picture and crap sound. Though the sound was still good enough to judge these morons. Let’s boogie!

Melinda is first and she is singing Love You Inside and Out and I thought she did really well. Melinda is always good and is probably the best singer, BUT she is not an American Idol. Paula actually, almost made sense with her comments in that Melinda is so good every week, she seems bland and it’s easy for her to get lost in the shuffle. Melinda needs that blow away performance to really separate herself from the rest.

Here comes Blake and he is singing You Should Be Dancing and I can already tell by the rehearsing that this will be rough. And great, more beatboxing, yay!!! He sings in a falsetto and that is not his thing. This was the worst I believe we’ve seen this season on AI. His scratching is really distracting. This sucked so bad but for once the beatboxing breakdown was better than his vocals, and that is not good news. Blake just died and the judges didn’t help. Bye, bye, bye.

LaKisha is next with Stayin’ Alive and Barry gives her some advice. Will LaKisha listen to him? Of course not. She does what she wants when she wants. She may not be a “diva” yet, but she certainly has the attitude down. I love the arrangement, slowed down and funked up, it sounds great. I thought she did pretty well, I enjoyed it, but it seems I was the only one.

The judges keep harping on needing a blow away performance and I agree, but these 4 singers are incapable of a blow away performance. Melinda may be but she plays it so safe she will never try to go for it. LaKisha is like George W., she never listens to any advice that is given to help her achieve a blow away performance. Jordin seems to have problems picking great songs to suit her and is still learning. And Blake just plain sucks and doesn’t belong in the first place. We have no great performers this year and we need to stop looking for the blow away performance.

Back to the show, Jordin is next and is singing To Love Somebody and this is the best Barry Gibb song ever. Wow, did Barry F. Gibb just say that Jordin sang this song better than anyone? That’s high praise, which makes me think maybe he is high, on to the song. Jordin worked it out, I don’t think it was the best version I heard but it was the best of tonight. I think this was great and puts her in the lead, but I don’t think this is the blow away performance we are looking for. She looked beautiful.

Melinda is back again and singing How Can You Mend a Broken Heart. Once again Melinda is good, especially that great big note, but she is boring. She knows how to do the moves, but she has no presence. She is the most polished, the most professional, but she is not the total package. She is first in vocals and last in performance. She can’t win.

Blake is back, Lord help me. He is singing This is Where I Come In. This is just horrible. I couldn’t hear his vocals during the verse over the band and he broke out the gimmick once more. It wasn’t as bad as the first song, but still crap. Blake’s problem is that he is just a mediocre singer with a gimmick. He has one hit wonder written all over him. Say good-bye ladies, because Blake is going home.

LaKisha is back singing Run To Me and at this time I have lost the picture on my TV and the sound has gotten worse. I heard Barry Gibb give LaKisha more advice and once again she basically flipped him off and told him to jog on. The picture’s back and there is now a weird buzzing underneath the sound of the show. LaKisha comes out and screams a little bit and gives the second best performance of the night. I think this will keep her from going before Blake, although Simon is not sure.

Jordin is back with A Woman in Love and Barry Gibb is straight trippin’. Barry F. Gibb just said Jordin was “one of our greatest female recording artists.” I think Barry is back on the b!+ch whiff. Anyway, Jordin comes out and gives a bad show of it. Her voice wavered and went hoarse at the end and was not the performance she wanted to leave the audience remembering. With that being said, she should still be in the lead. Did anyone else think the chorus sounded like an up-tempo Ooops, I Did It Again? Listen to it again.

Jordin is first and should win because she is the closest to being the total package. Melinda is second with the best vocals and pure professionalism, but is boring. LaKisha is third with a great voice but she never even tries to listen to someone that can help her. She just frustrates me so much. And Blake is last basically because he sucks. One of these singers is not like the other and that singer is Blake. Blake will leave tonight giving us two weeks of cat fights. Me-yow!!!!!