Thursday, March 30, 2006

My Workplace Hell

I can’t take this much longer. I am going to go mad. Let me explain to you the hell that is my office area. My office is right next door to the women’s bathroom, ordinarily that is not a huge problem. Unless the building has been undergoing some construction, construction that has left two giant square “holes” in the wall between you and the women’s bathroom. These holes are straight through, if I wanted to get on the copy machine and look into the women’s bathroom, it would not be a problem. What does this mean? Well this means that every 5 to 10 minutes a woman who works in the building comes to this bathroom, the only bathroom in the building, to do their business. Because of the holes, I hear everything that happens. I mean everything.

I shudder like Sideshow Bob every time I hear the door open. I am sure they do not know that I can hear everything; otherwise they would walk across the street to another building. Because of this, this makes me feel worse because I feel like I am violating their right to privacy. I am like an involuntary listening tom. It sucks; you do not know how much it sucks.

If that isn’t bad enough and that is bad, but there are holes in the walls all throughout the building. Because of this, the doors in the building kind of get sucked shut, I guess you would say. All the air that is flowing through the building will slam the women’s bathroom door shut. It sounds like a shotgun blast in my ear every 10 minutes.

In fact someone just went in there now, the shotgun blast, the sounds from the bathroom stall, and another shotgun blast. My day, every 10 minutes. What are these women drinking that there has to be someone in the bathroom every ten minutes!!!! And the good news is that the holes are more than likely going to be there for another six weeks or more. I am now starting to plug my ears every time I hear the first shotgun blast.

I swear, one day you may be reading about a disgruntled local government worker who went nuts and killed everyone in the courthouse of a small town in Kentucky.


Orelinde_03 said...

In defense of the ladies...sometimes we just need to escape. Thus ladies room to the rescue.

Then again, if you have my posistion, getting up to escape to the ladies room is almost impossible.

I feel your pain. Truly I do. If I was you, every time you heard someone enter the ladiesroom vortex, just start singing or talking loud enough for them to hear you. That way they know that 'they're not alone...while they're on the throne'.

Hang in there!

Piccu said...

I think that would make things worse. I think they know that I'm right next to them, I just don't think they think I can hear them. If they found out I could, then they would know that ever since the holes in the wall were cut I have heard everything, or at least everything I didn't try to block out. Not only is that embarrassing for them, but it would be embarrassing for me.

Orelinde_03 said...

Can you play music in your office?
Is an MP3 player or i-Pod out of the question?
At least the weekend is almost here, and you'll be free of the restroom horror.

BRATCH said...

He doesn't have an iPod because he hasn't caught up with the times yet, but he does have some ear buds hooked into his computer he could use. Unfortunately it sounds as though he would never hear the phone ring if he had to put in ear buds every 10 minutes.

That's my problem. Every time I fire up my iPod at work so I can actually get some work done someone needs me for something ruining my iPod buzz.

Piccu said...

I use one ear bud to listen to talk radio and The Ricky Gervais show, but I have one ear free so I can hear.

I have begun to plug my other ear but I have to tell you, sometimes the sound is almost unblockable. And even though I can't hear it, I still know it's going on. I think I am slowly going insane.

Roger said...

Interesting post. Please pay us a visit, we are all about bringing joy to your workplace.

my_merlin77 said...

Piccu, have you heard the phrase "fire one" at any point in time?

You may be able to swing disability if you get ptsd from the whole thing.