What the f!!!

Check these David Blaine parodies out. It is a two parter involving the same characters. David Blaine skulks and slips up on a young gay couple and proceeds to freak them out just like he does in real life.

Well, except the tricks are more believable here.

The guy who plays David Blaine has him down perfectly, monotone bland voice and so uncharismatic that you would think he was a rock.

I don't watch much YouTube comedy but this made me laugh.

The second video may be better than the first. Be careful curse words are used freely, but if you can look past that it is a great spoof.

Video #1: David Blaine Street Magic: YouTube Edition

Video #2: David Blaine Street Magic 2: The Sequel

What is a Snart?

I've never been accused of being classy. This post will do nothing to change that. But only moments ago I experienced a phenomenon that is as painful as it is rare. I snarted. That's right. A snart.

A snart is a combination of a sneeze and a fart. I was surprised to see this word defined on the urban dictionary website. So be sure to add it to your vocabulary kids.

Sorry for the random post. But I snarted and just had to remark to someone how painful this one was. And I'm not crass enough to tell my cubicle-mates.

Bombay Gunrunners Episode 15 is in the air!!!!

Bombay Gunrunners episode 15 is ready to go!!!

Here’s a tease. We discuss my battle with a ferocious serpent, a really bad parent, Heroes, Lost, American Idol, Deadliest Catch, the Arctic Monkeys, a Hot Fuzz review, an Inside Man review and a May summer movie preview.We also have a dream from a Lil' Junior Gunrunner to read and analyze.

And we have a special treat for those of you who love hair metal and for those who are going to love hair metal after the Gunrunners are through with you.

Two words: Britny Fox

Email us at bombaygunrunners@gmail.com or leave us a message at bombaygunrunners.com or on our myspace page. Help us out and give us material we will give you credit and you can pretend you are 10 years old and have just heard the local weatherman wish you a happy birthday…losers.

It's trailer time!!!!

It’s been awhile since I posted some links for movie trailers and I found a few that you might be interested in.

The first is the trailer from The Bourne Ultimatum. Jason Bourne is back…and this time it’s personal…or something like that. The Bourne movies are some of the best action-y/spy-y movies to come along since Roger Moore as James Bond. This movie appears to be no different. There is just something about a wronged man seeking revenge that gets my blood pumping. Enjoy!!!!

Now we have a trailer for a movie I would never had thought was funny. Until I saw the trailer. It is a movie called Balls of Fury and it stars Christopher Walken. This movie is a cross between Kung Fu and Enter the Dragon only with ping pong. Just check out the trailer and tell me you didn’t laugh when the guy says, “That gives the term wax off new mEEEEAAAAAANING.” It is brought to you by the Reno 911! Guys if I am not mistaken. It looks like it could be a summer sleeper.

Another comedy that I found today looks to be like a return to the last day of high school and the nerds wanting to party and get l*^d formula. You may roll your eyes at the sound of that, but that formula always works. Check out the trailer for Super Bad and it stars Michael Cera who you will remember as George Michael Bluth from the late great Arrested Devolvement. Also watch for cameos from Seth Rogan and Bill Hader. It also boasts that this movie is brought to you by the same people who brought you Talladega Nights and The 40-Yr Old Virgin, so it can’t be that bad. I’m so there.

Here is a preview for 28 Weeks Later, the sequel to 28 Days Later. It looks like more of the same, zombies on the loose. Fast zombies on the loose. I saw 28 Days Later and thought it was alright, don’t know if I am up for the sequel, but the trailer makes it look like it could get wild and wooly. It appears that Sandra Bullock will not be returning for this sequel

We all knew it would come and it is finally here. This trailer for Eagle vs. Shark looks like a straight up Napoleon Dynamite rip off, but I am still interested. What can I say, I like goofy stuff and I have seen Napoleon about 30 times. It appears to be a British film and if it is any good at all, it will probably make its money on DVD. The trailer is weird, you might like it.

Here comes the crapper of the bunch, the trailer for the new Adam Sandler/Kevin James movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. It is about two fire fighters who pretend to be a married gay couple to get pension benefits. I have no interest in this movie, but Jessica Biel co-stars and she looks soooooooooooo hooooooooooot in this trailer. It will be a renter. You might like it though, you philistines.

Here is the WTF trailer of the day and it is for a movie called Severance. It appears to be a British film about a corporate retreat gone funny/sexy/bloody? I am not exactly sure, but it intrigues me. Check this out while you wait for Hot Fuzz to finally get to your theater.

Battle Brewing Over Baghdad

No one on the Affect likes politics anymore. I think we used to like to debate and talk about it from time to time, but not anymore. What has worn us out is politicians. From the lowest level to the highest, politicians are like cheerleaders.

What do I mean by that? Well if you knew a cheerleader in high school, especially in the last 10-15 years, you saw firsthand how cheerleaders think the world revolves around cheering. It's a year round thing for them, so it's not surprising. But a step away we realize that cheerleading is just something to do.

Politics is similar. Politicians think the entire world revolves around them. They think everything is political or should be "simplified" into either a conservative or liberal issue. This happens with things that should be personal and religious, like abortion. Rudy Giuliani is considered unelectable because he's pro-choice. Even though the likelihood that Giuliani will have any say in the abortion legality in a presidential term are akin to the likelihood of me landing the first spaceship to land on the gaseuos giant Jupiter.

I find it disgusting that the War in Iraq has become so politicized. Personally, I put Harry Reid at the very front of the line for dimwits who use soldiers as pawns in their political games. But certainly the lunacy of such action spreads into both sides of the aisle. Reid raised eyebrows when he said that the war in Iraq is already lost. He has since backtracked but the verbal damage is done.

Now Democrats are pushing through an Iraq funding bill that's chocked full of pork projects and loaded with a mandatory pull-out date in Iraq. The President has promised he will veto this bill. Democrats know he will, yet they put it through yesterday anyway. This is a great example of how putrid modern politics is. Why send a bill that is guaranteed to be vetoed without any hope of gaining the two/thirds majority needed to override the veto? Because of politics.

I'm eager to hear the opinion of the Affect on this issue. Should we have a pull-out date set for the Iraq War?

One more thing, I actually agree with John Murtha on something. I believe this is the first time. Murtha said any war funding bill would include some benchmarks the Iraqi government must meet to keep us in country. This provides motivation for the Iraqis and gives us some definitive assessment of whether progress is indeed being made.

American Idol: The Sickie Six

This week American Idol gives back. Thanks, can we get our life back? No? Never mind. We are down to the bottom six and Sanjaya is gone so this could be anyone's ballgame. I, however, know who should and will win. Let's get it on.

Tonight's theme is songs of inspiration and compassion and crap like that there. Up first is Chris Timberlake with Change the World by Eric Clapton. Not my favorite Clapton song by a good sight but Chris comes out with his Justin suit on and gives the same performance he gives every week. He does the same head bopping, the same wincing faces, and gives the same song killing runs. If he would just sing and not worry about trying to run all over the place, he might be pretty good. It seems he is using his runs as a crutch, but what do I know. I hated this performance, but my dislike for this guy may have colored my ears and anything he sings will not be good, dog.

Now we have Melinda with There Will Come a Day and I thought she was great as usual. I think it was her best in weeks and she is definitely the best hands down singer on the show. The problem is, is Melinda an American Idol? Will she bring in the 18-34 crowd? I don't think so. I think she is more of a 35-55 crowd. No matter what, she is the best and the best tonight. Paula gave her some sort of Paula speak and I am wondering if there was a YouTube compilation of Paula's ramblings.

Blake is up singing Imagine by John Lennon. Oh no. Blake has turned from a hippity hopper to a ska/311 singer to now, a crooner. I don't like his voice, it is just sort of monotone and has no emotion and I thought he was boring and bland. Randy got on Blake for not doing anything with the song, but what can be done with this song? It is pretty much a piano ballad. If Blake popped it up he would have gotten killed. Blake made a mistake of picking a song that you can't win a singing competition with because it is so iconic. Blake did the best he could, but he should have chosen a better song for his style.

LaKisha is next with a Fantasia song called I Believe. When I first heard this was a Fantasia song I thought that this would be the performance of the night. I was wrong. I thought she was pretty good but she didn't blow me away like I thought she would. She seems to have slipped the last few weeks. I also think she is in the Melinda category in that she is not an American Idol and won't nail the 18-34 demo. I think LaKisha could make a fine living as a gospel singer, but not a pop star. Although she would be closer than Melinda. LaKisha could be in trouble tonight.

Phil or as some have been referring to him, Nosferatu, is next with a Garth Brooks' song called The Change. Phil is now the country boy and this could be the niche that saves him. Though I couldn't help but notice that he didn't exactly country it up this week. I thought he did fine and I think he is the best male vocalist left, but he is not an American Idol. He could benefit from a cowboy hat. He's a gargoyle.

I only saw fleeting moments of the Idol Gives Back vignettes, but did I see a bunch of kids stuffed inside a cardboard box at some point?

Back to AI and Jordin is next with You'll Never Walk Alone. I am beginning to wonder if I am losing my ear. I didn't think this was the best vocal all year. I thought it was shaky in parts and she cracked a little at the end with the big notes. That being said, she was better than everyone else but Melinda. The better news for Jordin is that she could be a believable American Idol. She is beautiful, talented, and young. She is just what the producers of the show is looking for year after year. She should and will win this thing.

Here is how I see the singers so far, Jordin, Melinda, Phil, Lakisha, Blake and bring up the rear, Chris. I also think the bottom three in my list will be the bottom three tonight. Chris could skate by because the judges took it easy on him, so I think Blake and LaKisha will be the bottom two and I believe LaKisha will go home in a minor upset. She has slipped the last couple of weeks and she doesn't need this show anyway.

Enough about last night, I can't wait until next week. Bon Jovi will be in town to help the singers in what I believe is hair metal night, but I could be wrong. I think Phil will sing Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi and country it up. I think Chris will sing a little known Krokus song called Long Stick Go Boom and the cameras will only be able to film him from the chest up. Blake will be singing Just a Gigilo/I Ain't Got Nobody by David Lee Roth and will turn it into a morose piano ballad. Melinda will sing Aldo Nova's Fantasy because it is almost 30 years old and she never sings a song written in the last millennium. And Jordin will once again wind up the show singing Winger's Seventeen in lingerie and thigh high boots. It should be a great night. Long live metal!!!!!

Bombay Gunrunners Episode 14 is in the air!!!!

In this very special episode of the Bombay Gunrunners, the Gunrunners welcome a guest, Dr. Jesse, to talk about psychiatrists vs. psychologists vs. therapists, Dr. Phil, mental health and the Va. Tech tragedy. Then the Gunrunners move on to their usual hijinks and discuss pop culture, dreams and Lee has a mental breakdown. It's a scene. Join us won't you?

Buyer beware, this podcast may contain explicit material so you have been warned.

Check us out at bombaygunrunners.com and leave us a message or email us at bombaygunrunners@gmail.com. You can also get in touch with us at our myspace page. Join us and become a Lil' Junior Gunrunner.

24-hour News and you can't rationalize irrational behavior

This was going to be a comment to Travis’ post of “To Show, Or Not To Show,” but I knew it would get long.

I don’t really have a problem with the 24 hour new organizations showing the video and photos of Cho Seung-Hui. However, I believe that line has to be drawn as to how many times you show it. I don’t understand why they don’t hype a specific show saying that they are going to show them at a certain time instead of running it over and over all day.

I believe it was CNN that had an FBI profiler on that said specifically that if these photos and videos are continued to be shown over and over and over again, there will be a copycat or copycats to go out and do just as Cho did.

Do I think it will happen, probably not, but after most all of the major school shootings there were other school shootings.

With that aside, the other aspect of this 24-hour media blitz from the campus of Virginia Tech is that all of the big time news organizations and covering this wall to wall 24-7. I wouldn’t have a problem with them discussing the facts but the speculation is down right irresponsible.

Since all of the 24 news organizations are disregarding anything unrelated to the Virginia Tech shootings, they are discussing what thing this kid came into contact with that might have made him do this. The big thing that I have a problem with is when Chris Matthews is trying to see if Cho’s suitemate believes that the video game Counterstrike made Cho do it.

Counterstrike is a game that has been played literally by millions of people all over this world for nearly 10 years. This game is that old. If you watch the video and see the photos of this kid, do you think that Counterstrike made him do this or do you think the severe mental illness had something to do with it?

But when you have to fill 24 hours of air time with discussion this type of thing comes up even though everyone knows that mental illness is to blame. And sometimes people flipping through channels only get to see one thing and that thing might some political idiot saying that a video game made him do it.

That’s like saying that someone saw him drinking a Pepsi a week before the shootings and asking questions about a 20 ounce bottle of Pepsi and its role in the killings.
The bottom line with all of this is that you can’t make a rational contingency plan for an irrational mentally ill person. It’s impossible. If you do that makes every suspicious package a bomb and multiples it by 10.

Not to long ago here in the OC we had a “suspicious” briefcase out at a local food plaza on a major parkway that runs through here. I happen to know the state trooper who responded to the call.

He looked at it and decided he would pick it up and move it to an empty lot about a half mile from there off of the parkway.

The bomb squad was called which and when all was said and done it was about a 4 or 5 hour ordeal that involved one of two robots blowing up the briefcase with a 12-gauge water cannon.
Price tags and a feather duster was in the briefcase left from a traveling manager for the toll plaza.

The trooper said that he probably would never move something like that again, but he said that if he had called the bomb squad without moving the case, they would have shut down the parkway in both directions for 5 hours.

We got the story but if he doesn’t move the case, it literally becomes a national story with helicopters over our heads.

That is a different situation, but if measures are taken to factor in irrational thought then that was a bomb and there were a dozen more just like it that we had to find.

The focus of this situation should be to educate people to see the signs of mental illness and instruct them how to handle a situation when they think a friend is having problems.

It seems to me that everyone kind of assumed that someone else would make Cho's mental issues their problem and ignored it for the most part.

To Show, or Not To Show?

I was perusing the Fox News website last night when I came upon the video the country is talking about this morning. Snippets of video that Cho Seung-Hui chronicled in the days and minutes leading up to his massacre of the students at Virginia Tech. Admittedly, I was excited to finally hear this man's thoughts, to gain a glimpse into his reasoning. I brought my wife in to watch it as well.

The delusion of a madman is captivating in a macabre sort of way. I watched it twice in morbid curiosity. But today, after reflection and thought, I realized that I shouldn't have watched it. Not because it's scrambling my brain, but because it will scramble someone's brain.

Cho Seung-Hui was a troubled young man who had seemingly no connection to reality. His ramblings were so mad they were nearly incomprehensible at times. But what is obvious is he was looking for a voice. He said often that people had forced him to do this. His writings, the plays, poetry, and stories that had triggered his teachers and classmates to fear him were his first attempts. Whatever disconnect existed in his mind created a need to be heard.

So Cho did what he had deemed necessary. He killed violently 32 others and then himself. In the interim between the first two killings and the others, he stopped by his dorm room to set in motion his last attempt to be heard. He wrote an 8 page manifesto and packaged several photos and video snippets and sent it to a local NBC affiliate. Then he did the deed. Now with the airing of his photographs and his videos, he's been given his voice.

This is the part that scares me. We can no longer expect media to discern what is newsworthy and what is prudent to be published. What we can now expect is a rush to air whatever is interesting, whatever is sensational, whatever is going to pull ratings. Cho knew he would be heard. So how many more troubled souls keeping up with this in the news are thinking the same thing. I'll grant you that people who are disturbed enough to do something like this are very few and far between. But assuming that they don't exist is naive to a dangerous fault.

There are others. And now those others understand that if no one will hear them now, they have a recourse. That recourse is to perform some heinous act and leave behind something like Cho did. They know, as we all do, if they do leave something like that behind, that we'll all hear it. That's a frightening impetus for violence.

The mind of a shooter.

I just heard this article read on the Tony Kornheiser show and it is something to see. It is from the Washington Post and is about the shooter at Va. Tech and it really does creep you out knowing what ultimately happened. It explains what this person was like leading up to the tragedy.

This young man seemed very disturbed and seems should have been forced to seek help. In the end does anyone expect that someone, even as disturbed as Cho Seung Hui, would do what he did? Who knows what goes on in the head of someone so disturbed? I see things like this and wonder how anyone could do this to their fellow man. Unfortunately these are the times we live in because we always seem to see something like this in the news every week. It is a sad time not just for Va. Tech, but for the whole nation.

Read the article if you like, but be prepared, it is very creepy.

You may have to sign up for the Washington Post site to read it, but it is free.

American Idol: The SlipShod Seven

It’s Idol time and last night’s show had a country theme with the hot mama Martina McBride offering help to the contestants. Unfortunately, most are beyond any help. The recap is now. Hold on, it's a long one. That's what she said.

First up we have Phil the goblin singing Where the Blacktop Ends by Keith Urban. First, let me say that if you come from the land down under you can’t sing country music to me. I know Mr. Urban has a healthy addiction to several substances and that is a plus for a country singer, at least in my book, but he has to show me even more because he isn’t even from the country “country” music was born. Ok, on to the ghoulish Phil. Did you notice Martina’s look of horror as Phil finished his song in rehearsals? Otherwise I thought Phil sang really well. In fact, this was his best performance and my favorite of the night. Who knew that this was the kind of music Phil wanted to sing? He is now, for better or for worse, the “country” guy. Whether this keeps him around longer, I don’t think so.

Here comes Jordin singing A Broken Wing by Ms. McBride. It is your prototypical “just hold on, you can do it” type song and I thought Jordin did really well, but not her best. I love the steel guitar; you can’t beat a really good steel guitar. Jordin is powerful and should finish top 2 or 3. But, can she beat Sanjaya? Was it me or did she look like Tammy Wynette circa 1968 with that dress? And by the way, if you didn’t know, Seacrest is a pygmy.

Does Constantine Whatever His Name Is not have something better to do than just come down and hang out? No, he doesn’t.

Here is Sanjaya singing Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About. Is this really a country song? I am really starting to turn on this d-bag. His hair and the rag are just too much and he is the worst singer by far, to have ever made this show. He sings like he is just going through the motions and could care less about what he sounds like. He is beyond horrible. Sanjaya is confused to hear that he is crappy. Ordinarily I don’t mind it when Seacrest gets a little snippy at Simon, but the least he could do is pick an argument he could win. Does Seacrest actually think Sanjaya is good? Simon is an a-hole, but I don’t think he is saying Sanjaya sucks just because he may not like him. Where is Sanjaya’s sister? I didn’t get one glimpse of her and she’s all I got since Legs walked out. Man, I miss Legs.

LaKisha is next singing Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underalls. She made Martina cry during her rehearsal and we found out the Martina was Jewish as she became “verklempt” as LaKisha sang. I thought LaKisha’s performance was alright, but this kind of style is not her and things did not go well. She was middle of the pack this week and that could be a chink in the armor that gets her bottom 3, so watch out. Did you see how pained Paula looked as she actually had to criticize someone? Paula is useless, even the contestants just kind of put up with her to get to Simon.

Chris Rascal Timberlake is next with Mayberry by Rascal Flatts. I don’t mean to get crazy here, but Martina said that she was afraid Chris wouldn’t be able to sing in the “country” style, but she thought after hearing him that it wouldn’t be a problem for him. Well, to be fair, Martina, country music today is not exactly country and western music. Country music today is pop music with a fiddle mixed in; see Shania Twain for the perfect example. When all you have to do to make a country song a pop song is to take away the fiddle and/or steel guitar then it is not a country song. I would bet that any pop singer today could switch over and sing country music these days. We don’t have any Waylons, Willies, Hank Jr.s, or Johnny Cashes on the radio. Sorry for the rant.

I hate Chris as you know from the podcast, maybe not as bad as I played it up on the podcast, but I do not think is “versatile” as Martina thinks, I think he is painful to watch, I think he does the same act every week, and he is only around because girls like to look at him. Granted he isn’t the worst there is, but he is the worst of the guy singers, and I am not counting Sanjaya as a guy or a singer. I thought he sounded flat throughout the song and Simon is right, he is nasally and I am not sure I like the nasal sound of singing that Chris apparently is shooting for. I also don’t think he needs to get into an argument with Simon at this point in the competition because he is already making the bottom 3 and doesn’t need to give people another reason to kick him off. I do however think what he said about the senseless tragedy in Va. was very thoughtful of him. I also thought Simon’s eye roll after Chris said that looked very bad, even though he probably didn’t mean to roll his eyes at the sentiment. I wonder if I was the only one who thought or saw that.

Here comes Melinda singing Trouble is a Woman and this almost sounds like a country song. It has a Charlie Daniels groove to it. Melinda may not be a “country” singer, but I thought she did really well and was the second best of the night. But then again, she is always good. Simon finally comes out and says what America has been thinking for the last two months, “Melinda stop the I can’t believe you think I am good” routine. It looks fake, which is a shame because she probably really is that type of person. But this is showbiz baby. As an aside, I thought she looked really good this week, but then again I am going through Legs withdrawals.

Blake is next singing When the Stars Go Blue and I have to say, I have never heard most of these songs and I know why. Blake is kind of like Chris in the way he comes out and does Blake every week. I think he is a better singer than Chris but I am not a fan of his tone. I thought he was good but probably only 3rd or 4th best tonight. He will be safe for now, but I can’t see him in the top 3 especially when he has to compete with LaKisha, Melinda, Jordin and Sanjaya.

I was glad that Simon said what he said about the Va. Tech tragedy, but I can’t help but think someone in production told him he looked like a heartless jackass when he rolled his eyes during Chris’ heartfelt thoughts about the shooting. But Simon was right, it has been a rough week for all of us.

Well, bottom three is easy for me. I think Chris, LaKisha and Sanjaya will be bottom 3 tonight. I believe that America thinks like me and is getting tired of Sanjaya’s act and will put a little bit of a scare into him tonight. If America is not like me then Phil will be here and he doesn’t deserve to be because he had at least a top two performance tonight and is a pretty good singer. I think, and hope, that Chris goes tonight, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see LaKisha get the boot as she had her first not great performance, which will open the door for Jordin to slip into the top 2. It should be interesting as we are now getting down to the people who are actually semi-talented.

Here's To the Good Guys

Nothing shows the goodness of this country like tragedy. It brings out the best in all of us. In the wake of the Virginia Tech massacre the whole c0untry has bonded in prayers and thoughts to support the victims, their families, and all those affected by it.

The Washington Nationals showed their support last night by wearing Virginia Tech caps in their game against the Atlanta Braves. I thought that was a really great gesture and really endears you again to the national pastime. This is where the NFL often gets it wrong. When players are the slightest bit out of step in their uniforms or sideline garb in the NFL, they get fined. MLB wisely made no issue of the Nationals show of support.

The Nats will probably be the worst team in baseball this year. But even then, they're professionals and they have already provided, in April, what might be the best story in baseball this season. So here's to you Nats.

Say a prayer for all those in the Virginia Tech tragedy today. And remember to say one for the shooter's family. Their grief of losing their son to suicide has to be compounded infinitely by the knowing what their son did and what he ultimately became. God bless them and keep them.

Bombay Gunrunners Episode 13 is in the air!!!

Good news!! Good news!!

In this episode of the Bombay Gunrunners the Gunrunners discuss, animal news inlcuding Julie's feeding of a stray dog, Lost, American Idol, the Sopranos, and Grindhouse (again) and they discuss the new releases in music.

After that the rest of the Gunrunners disparage Lee when he leaves the podcast to urinate. When Lee returns, the Gunrunners look into the future and tell us their rock band’s name and their first album titles, and Lee has drainage problems. Yikes! This is not for the squeamish. Snort the Horn!!!!!!!!

By the by, you have homework this week. All of you need to email us your crazy dreams or crazy behaviors as we will be joined by a psychiatrist next week and he will be telling us how and why we are crazy. Also we want all of you to email us your band name and the title of your first and even second albums. This is your chance to be a part of the show!!! Save us from ourselves.

Check us out at bombaygunrunners.com and leave us a message or email us at bombaygunrunners@gmail.com. You can also get in touch with us at our myspace page. Join us and become a Lil' Junior Gunrunner.

You'll understand the reason I leave you with these definitions after you listen to the podcast.

Boneblack-A black pigment containing about 10 percent charcoal, made by roasting bones in an airtight container and used in polishes, as a filtering medium, and in decolorizing sugar. Also called bone charcoal.


Royal Jelly-a viscous substance secreted from the pharyngeal glands of worker honeybees, fed to all larvae during their first few days and afterward only to those larvae selected to be queens.

Thank You Don Imus

Don Imus. Now everyone in America knows that name for all the wrong reasons. Imus joined a short list of people have been fired for saying something very stupid on a national broadcast. Howard Cossell made a living at it, but it caught up with him. Jimmy the Greek was not even on the air, just drunk at a party when it caught up with him. There are others.

So why thank Don Imus? Because the aftermath of Imus' ill conceived, racist comment has included the quite unintentional debate over what language should be acceptable and should not. Many have weighed in with their opinions. Most notably, Snoop Doggy Dogg.

What Snoop has started is a massive orgy of rationalization and justification. It seems that nearly everyone has made a boneheaded racist, elitist, or otherwise ignorant comment at one time or another. And we all want to present our excuses for it. Snoop basically falls back on the old "street cred" excuse. He's been there, he's lived it, etc, etc, etc.

A couple points about our good friend Mr. Doggy Dogg. First, in his comments Snoop said, "We're talking about ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doing sh--, that's trying to get a n---a for his money." So not only does Snoop think its acceptable for him to call women that he judges to be of illmotive, "hos" but he also inadvertantly endorses use of the dreaded n-word.

That brings me to the second point. Don Imus likely would have never had any idea what the term "nappy headed hos" meant if it weren't for the perpetuation of these terms by segments of the black culture in this country, headed by individuals like Snoop Doggy Dogg.

Don Imus is an idiot. There's no doubt about it. If he honestly thought people would wink at this and go on, he's got the intelligence of a chickpea. But the utter hypocrisy of individuals like Snoop Dogg who cry foul at individuals who use this sort of language and then sell records that freely use those terms is staggering.

The worst part of it is that people continue to buy Snoop's rationalization. Gee, he's black, he was poor growing up, he must be right about this.

Let me clear something up for you. He's not right. He's wrong. He's dead wrong. And it's ridiculous to expect one segment of the population (whites) to walk on eggshells into perpetuity while another segment (blacks) get carte blanche to say what they want, when they want to, where they want to with the excuse of having "lived it."

I don't want the right to use words like that. I don't want to be able to freely throw barbs at people. But if we're going to push the idea of equality in all things in this glorious democratic society, then let's level all playing fields. That means same opportunities, same rules for everyone. Don't decry the evils of society of you are part of that evil, Snoop.

Ever wanted to start your own punk rock band?

Check this out, it is a website that allows you to make your own punk rock song with just a few clicks of your mouse. It has a dog playing the standard punk drum beat and a guitar player that plays rhythm and lead as well as sings. I thought this was pretty cool so check it it out and crank it up. Enjoy!!!!

Let's Play "Tickle the Crocodile Tongue"!!!!

No message because one is not needed.

Looking for some cheap art?

I’ve had this bookmarked for a while, but I am so lazy about posting on the blog now that I am a podcasting superstar that I never got around to posting this. For those of you who don’t know, I am a huge movie fan, especially classic movies. I am also becoming a movie poster fan. I do not have many in my small collection, but I have just started. I came across this on USA Today’s Pop Candy blog and it is the top 25 movie posters of all time according to Premiere magazine.

I think you will enjoy these posters because they can be seen not just as advertisements but as pieces of art. In fact I have already searched some of these out and bookmarked pages that have them for sale. The ones that interested me the most were, The Hitch-Hiker, Rosemary’s Baby, Sullivan’s Travels, This Gun for Hire, The Gold Rush, Gilda (va-va-voom), and The Sin of Nora Moran. It’s hard to believe the Nora Moran poster was legal back in 1933. So, check out the best movie posters and maybe even purchase one or two. You can find reproductions of just about any poster without having to pay billions of dollars. Enjoy!!!!!

By the way, I think this poster should be in that top 25, it is my personal favorite right now.

American Idol: The Egregious Eight

American Idol time and we had a real treat last night. It was Latin night and JelLo was there to help the singers. YAYYYYYY!!! This was B-R-utal to watch I have to tell you. The worst one ever, it was so bad that Sanjaya was actually pretty good. Let’s go.

Melinda is up first and she is going to show us her sultry sexy side and sing the Latin super hit Sway. Yeah I never heard of it either, but JelLO has covered it so it must be good. Melinda is just great as usual. What more is there to say about her? She is so good that she is becoming boring and I am afraid that will cost her votes in the long run. Good, but eh.

Lakisha is next sing Conga by the Miami Sound Machine and I have to tell you, I love the MSM. One of my first cassette tapes was the album with this song. Lakisha is a hot mama tonight. Did anybody else think she was going down in those high heels? That would have been awesome. This was not her best performance, but she is just like Melinda, good every week. It’s hard to get any better when you are good every week. Gay Banter Alert!! Gay Banter Alert!! Simon and Ryan are at it again. Get a room!!

Does anyone else love that Guitar Hero 2 ad for the Xbox? It rules, I love Wolfmother.

Chris Timberlake is next and he is singing Smooth and is portraying Justin Timberlake impersonating Rob Thomas. This guy comes out every week and does the same runs, the same dance, the same weird facial expressions and the same crappiness that makes me sick. If this d-bag wins I will shoot my TV with a 12 gauge. Otherwise, he didn’t do that bad, I did not like it, but I think he is in no danger of bottom threeing.

Here comes Legs (Haley for the uninitiated) and she is singing Turn the Beat Around. Is this a Latin song? I guess any song sung by a Latin artist is considered “Latin” music. I always thought this was a disco song by some white chick. Anyway, Legs is working it by wearing the hot pants. Yamma hamma, me likey. This song is too fast for her to keep up with or she is too fast to keep up with the song. She looks kinda fast. I can’t understand a word she is singing, but in the grand scheme of things, that is not that important.

Randy is correct, dog, this was bad karaoke. I think Legs hates Paula, she always rolls her eyes when Paula talks to her. Did you notice Legs was looking to Ryan to save her from Simon’s comments? She is a really bad singer but a super hot mama. I hope America feels the same way and we get Legs in the final two. There is no telling what she will or will not wear to win. By the way, I had fun too, Legs. Will you marry me?

Phil comes out and sings Maria, Maria and he is not bad, but then no one is good tonight. I hate his hat being pulled down over his ear, but the man’s a goblin, he has to try something. I thought he was the best guy singing wise tonight, but he is as boring as a plain beef taco. He is in deep deep guacamole tonight.

Jordin is next with another Miami Sound Machine song, my favorite MSM song, The Rhythm is Gonna Get You. I’m sorry judges; I thought this was very good. She can sing, she is fun and she looks like she is having a good time every night. She can win this thing, assuming Sanjaya is not in the finals with her. Simon keeps saying there is no progression and the performances are not great. I wonder why? If Latin music was any good you would her it all the time on the radio. Besides the Miami Sound Machine, there is no such thing as good Latin music. This is your own fault American Idol, you pick a sucky theme and you get sucky performances. Sorry.

Blake is next and he is singing I Need to Know and I need to puke. I hate this song and I am starting to really hate Blake. He is just not that great. It was just alright for me, dog. This may have been the best of the night, but it does nothing for me. At least it seems he has retired the idiotic beat boxing, so I will keep him over Chris and Phil.

Now it is time for Sanjaya singing Busame Mucho and it appears that he was eating a cupcake with chocolate icing before he came out and someone forget to wipe his face off. There is Spanish in this song, no? This should be a train wreck. What was that line, Sanjaya? “Que tengo bien wah bah there they pear der de los pway?” What?!? No hablar puerco espanol, ducha bolsa. And stop looking at me like that Creepy McCreeperson.

Well, besides the crap on his face, the creepy looks into the camera and the pigeon Spanish, I thought he was the best of the night. He is flipping the game, dog. He has gone from crappy to putrid overnight. He can win this thing. Mark my words, he has got this thing, dog. Was that the hippies from The Amazing Race? And is it me or is his sister the hottest thing on Fox? Yowsa!!! Look out Legs, we have a new competitor for my lust.

Okay, this night was crap. As bad as it has been so far, Latin night was the worst. Nothing stuck out to me as a blow you away performance but there were some that were worse than others. The bottom three tonight will be Phil, Haley and, sadly, Jordin. I think Jordin will be sent back to the group and Phil will say adios tonight just because of the goblin effect. You can’t get rid of Legs, come on. Who knows, we may have a Hair Metal theme coming up and you know Legs will need a pole for that performance.

By the way, next week looks to be Country week with Martina McBride. Yay? It can’t be any worse than this night of mule dung. Until next week, keep Legs in your prayers.

Funniest Dunk Attempt I've Seen

Just when white people were finally starting to recover from the film, White Men Can't Jump, we get this moron. He goes into the crowd, fishes out a hottie, positions her in front of the goal, then...well, you just have to watch it.

I hope she's got that insurance.

Bombay Gunrunners Episode 12 is in the air!

In this very special episode the Gunrunners discuss Julie's fried apple pies and Pat's hatred of them. We also discuss, Guitar Hero 2 and Rock Band, Lost, American Idol, Deadliest Catch, music we are listening to and have recently purchased. We also discuss Billy Joe Shaver shooting a man in Austin just to watch him die, as well as Doug Supernaw's grand conspiracy. In movies we discuss Happy Feet and Grindhouse. And Pat makes Lee drop an f bomb.

Join us for an ALMOST explicit edition of the Bombay Gunrunners. Email us at bombaygunrunners@gmail.com or leave us a comment or message on bombaygunrunners.com. You can also check us out on our myspace page and if you add us as a friend you will become a Lil' Junior Gunrunner. Join us, won't you???

Two books for movie lovers

I recently had a birthday, and two of the gifts I received were books. One is called 1000 Films to change your life and the other is called The Rough Guide to Cult Movies. Both of these are great! They are at the very least bathroom books full of trivia. They have so many great recomendations to suit any occasion. I have checked out the Horror sections of each, to see if any will fit the bill for Halloween Movie Mania in October. I especially like the Cult Movie book as it has chapters about almost any thing you can imagine: psychiatrists, circus, gambling, film noir, kitsch, nazis, nuns... the list goes on and on.

Worshipping the Bunny.

I thought this might be a good forum for the rant session I need. I have gone to church my entire life, and admittedly, have been invested in it a differing levels and in different ways throughout the years. I recognize that Christmas is so commercialized that virtually everyone in the country uses it as a way of selfishness and self indulgence. They say that to give is better than to receive, but I think that only a small fraction feel that way. Besides, I am past the point of being bothered by those who go to church or not, and then celebrate Christmas. This may be my own desensitization. This year marks a new experience for me: the Easter commercializer. I have recognize that Easter has included candy and bunnies and baskets for years. I have no real problem with that. I have great confusion and even greater irritation for the lack of celebration of Easter as a completely non-christian holiday. For example, and probably the most irritating to me, are those who have massive Easter dinners, but can't make it to church. If it were the non-church goers then I could almost get by without being irritated. It is among those who call themselves Christians who are too busy celebrating Easter to celebrate Easter. "Sorry, can't make it to church today because I am preparing to celebrate Easter dinner." Skip church for almost any other holiday to go celebrate (memorial day weekend, 4th of July, Labor day weekend, Halloween....whatever), but to skip Easter church to celebrate Easter. Give me a break.

Kentucky has a coach, but AD is still catching grief.

For everyone who believe that the University of Kentucky’s coaching search was this gigantic catastrophe, I don’t understand.

Here was the list. I’m not going to say that I’ve been crawling around in Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart’s head like some seem to believe they’ve been doing for the last 3 weeks, but this is still the list of coaches in order according to pretty much everyone.

1. Billy Donovan
2. Billy Gillispie
3. Rick Barnes
4. Jay Wright
5. Tom Izzo

UK’s only problem was that Donovan played until Monday. However, none of those coaches could have been hired before Donovan turned down the job. Even if you hired all 4 of them.
UK couldn’t hire Gillispie until Donovan said he wasn’t going to take it because as soon as Gillispie or anyone else lost his first game many fans would say “Donovan would have won that game.”

You hire Gillispie 48 hour earlier and you might was well bring Tubby Smith back.
And it’s not like any of the coaches were “interviewed.” All of that junk about UK bringing in a firm to help they search was just filler stories to make it look like they were doing more than watching NCAA games with their feet on their desks.

Should they have been doing more? I guess, but it doesn’t matter because if the coaches who wanted to come to Kentucky really wanted to come to Kentucky, they would be ready and waiting regardless.

That’s not being arrogant, it’s just the way it is.

So even though everyone seems to think that this “search,” if you can call it that, was a gigantic failure.

If getting your second choice because the first didn’t want the job is failure, we should all be so lucky in life when the decision isn’t ours to begin with.

Kayaats Fans, Meet Thy Coach

UK finally named Billy the Kid as their coach. Nope, not THE Billy the Kid. Not the hottest coach in college basketball, Billy Donovan (that's Dunnavan for Billy Packer.)

Instead they got Billy Gillispie. Uneducated UK fans (is that redundant?) are probably scratching their heads and wondering what went wrong. So let's review that first:

1. Billy Donovan turned down UK. It is my personal belief that Mitch Barnhart, Athletics Director at UK is a moron. How are you going to watch a Rick Pitino disciple who won 26 games per year (Tubby Smith) get effectively ran out of Lexington by malcontent fans and then expect ANOTHER Pitino disciple to take that same job? I'd lay money down that Pitino and Donovan talked and Pitino advised him against it. And if so, he was right to do so.

2. Jay Wright didn't want it. The coach at Villanova, didn't want to coach at Kentucky. What does this tell you? It tells you the effect of the UK fans is enormous. Wright was probably scared to take the job.

3. Rick Pitino didn't want it. Why would he have? Been there, conquered that. You can't go home again.

4. Rick Barnes didn't want it. Barnes was probably in Wright's boat. Scared out of the job. He can exist as the second fiddle in Austin and not deal the pressures of coaching in the hot Lexington spotlight.

What went right.
1. Barnes didn't want it. Look, Rick Barnes is a good coach, not a great coach. He's never been the ELITE EIGHT. With Kevin Durrant, the best player in college basketball and an able supporting cast, he couldn't get out of the second round. Barnes would be dead meat in Lexington.

2. Billy Gilispie wanted to coach UK like a hooker wants a health care plan. He turned down Arkansas. He didn't sign a VERY lucrative extension with his current school Texas A&M that would have made him the highest paid coach in the Big Twelve. He held out because he WANTED to be UK's next coach. That bodes well because he's a good defensive coach, an efficient offensive coach (He won't be funning and gunning like Pitino Kayaat's fans, so don't expect that) and he's been immediately successful at his previous two stops. He's a tireless recruiter and a hard worker.

I don't know if Gillispie will work long term at UK or not. I do think he was the second best man for the job. And Mitch Barnhardt probably lucked out in getting a coach of Gillispie's quality after a major screw job of a coaching search.

If there's a knock to be made on Billy Gillispie it is this: he's been a head coach for all of five years. And that's at UTEP and Texas A&M. Gillispie has no idea the media circus that awaits him. I wish him luck. But not too much. After all, I hate UK.

Alanis Presents My Humps

I saw this...somewhere, Hollywood Tuna, I think, and it is Alanis Morrisette's version of the Black Eyed Peas' My Humps. It is not the funniest thing I have ever seen, but it is very amusing. The video features Alanis dancing around like a ho and talking about how she has got all the guys giving her things, but she is not reciprocating.

Then I guess the song isn't about being a ho, just a gold digger.

Enjoy!!

Daddy Came Home

Here's your test to determine whether or not you have a soul.

If you watch the clip I linked in the title and you cry, congratulations, you have a soul.

If you watch that clip and you don't at least get a tear in your eye, you have no soul.






Figuratively speaking, of course.

I Heart Expletive Spewing Freak Outs

You have got to check this out. A few years back a movie called I Heart Huckabee's came out to minimal fanfare. It starred Dustin Hoffman, Jason Schwartzman, Jude Law, Naomi Watts, Mark Wahlberg and the great Lily Tomlin. I had heard things about the director of this movie, David O. Russell. I had heard he is a S. O. B. to work with and he and Geroge Clooney almost got into a fist fight during the filming of the great movie Three Kings. And many will tell you that it is hard to get George that angry. How do I know these things? You forget, I am in the business and I heard it on the TV Guide podcast.

Anyway, I heard about an incident on the set of Huckabees that was making the rounds on YouTube about a freak out that Lily Tomlin had. I found it right here. It is filled with coarse language so those who have virgin ears better not watch this, otherwise it is hilarious and one of the most uncomfortable things I have seen in the last few weeks. She is going off while seemingly trapped in a car with 3 or 4 other people who near the end of the freak out also incur her wrath. It's priceless.

After finding that, I also found this piece that again involves Lily Tomlin having a problem with something the director has done, but the director, David O. Russell has the freak and he goes BALLISTIC. If you have watched the first video, I must warn you, the language in this one is about ten times worse. Russell yells and cusses and even throws things at his actors. In all my movie making experience I have never seen anything so unprofessional, yet so enthralling. You must see this. And just in case you can't make out what is said, the person who put this clip on YouTube has provided you with subtitles.

Enjoy!!!!

American Idol: The Negligible Nine

It's time for the highlight of your week, American Idol. YAAAAYYYY! Or something like that. Last night's show was a Standards show which meant we had a good chance of hearing some good songs and Mr. Tony Bennett was on hand to help all the really great, great singers. I have to admit every time I saw and heard Tony on screen, I could not help being reminded of Alec Baldwin’s great impression of him on SNL. He’s a great, great guy.

We start off the night with Blake who is quickly becoming one of the more boring singers on the show. He sings Mack the Knife and he faux snaps as he comes on to the screen. He could have dressed up a little for this song. It is about a gangster not a hippie. At the end of the song did anyone else notice that Blake kind of broke into the stereotypical white folks dance that Carlton does on Fresh Prince? Maybe Blake is not as hip as some think. The performance was alright, but he can’t win. He sounds the same each week. I hate him.

Next we have Phil singing Night and Day and we also have our first sign that Tony is going senile because he calls Phil a really good singer. Phil? At least Phil dressed up a little, but didn’t the judges tell him to try and stay away from singing in a lower register? He sounded flat throughout the song and he needs a hat to help his freakishly weird looks. I thought this was horrible and Phil better hope that “focusing” on his wife will win him some votes.

Here comes Melinda and I think she actually looks very nice tonight and she is singing I’ve Got Rhythm. Tony says. “She’s a great, great lady.” And she is, as always. She could make a real good living singing songs like these, but can she sing songs an American Idol is “supposed” to sing? I am not sure, and for this reason and Jordin’s rise each week, I think Melinda may move down to number two, otherwise, she was great, best so far.

Now we have Chris Timberlake singing Don’t Get Around Much Anymore. It’s a wonder Justin Timberlake doesn’t sue this weasel for stealing his…well, everything. I assume JT is too busy macking on any number of Hollywood starlets to care. I hate Chris, can’t stand to look at him. He was alright in this performance, but impersonators belong in Vegas. Much like this whole season of American Idol, he is boring. Was that the bald dude from Miami Ink in his posse? This was probably his best, but he sucks so badly.

Now we have Jordin singing a song I have never heard and she is great. I think this was the best of the night. As Tony says, “She is a terrific, terrific lady.” She has a little more personality and a lot more youth than Melinda and that’s why I think Jordin could win this thing and at the least be in the final two. She has great big notes. That sounds dirty doesn’t it? I mean she sings that big note at the end wonderfully. Simon can officially no longer keep a straight face when Paula opens her pie hole.

Gina is here and I am not as worried about her this week as some are. I think she is more than a “trash queen” as Tony Kornheiser calls her. She sings Smile and I think she does a great job; unfortunately I may be the only one. She did have a bad ending but I think she is better than any of the guys. I am afraid Simon is right and because she followed Melinda and Jordin, she will be forgotten and bottom three-ed tonight.

Here comes Sanjaya singing Cheek to Cheek one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies, Top Hat starring Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. What does Tony think of Sanjaya? “He’s a terrific, terrific…er, thing?” On the Tony Kornheiser show someone described Sanjaya as having a certain “Je ne sais quoi.” I say it is more of a certain je ne sais crap. Sanjaya is dressed tonight as a Columbian drug lord. Sanjaya said he wanted to prove that he could sing. Well kid, you can’t get blood from a stone as the old saying goes, but he did seem better this week than in weeks past. Could it be that he is actually getting better? I didn’t say good, but better.

As I watched this performance I thought Sanjaya had the personality of a wet nap. The judges can’t say anything to this kid, this story gets bigger and bigger each week and because of this, I think he can win. It may destroy AI, but it would be interesting to find out. He still stinks, by the way.

The Transformers movie looks bada$$.

Here comes Legs(Haley) singing Ain’t Misbehavin’ and right off the bat she disregards Tony’s advice by saying she was saving her love “for you and you.” She wanted to slutten up the song a little bit because not misbehavin' and saving your love for one man is so 2006. What did Tony think about Legs? “She’s a leggy, leggy lady.” Right on! Was it Legs’ idea to arrange the song so it sounded like a stripper anthem? She was alright, she isn’t so bad, she is just behind three great female singers. She is not much worse than any of the guys. I would keep her over any of the guys at this stage just to see if she performs topless one night. You can kind of see that she doesn’t seem like she really wants to be there. She looks fed up. Maybe tonight’s her night.

Simon is right, green is a good color on her, another good color on her would be nude, another great color on her would be Piccu. Is it me or do her legs go all the way up? Sweet Fancy Moses!!!

Here comes Lakisha singing Stormy Weather and she isn’t f’ing around. The beginning is kind of shaky, but she really turns up the heat from the middle to the end. Although I wasn’t crazy about her adlibbed line at the end from the Bill Withers’ song Ain’t No Sunshine, but otherwise I thought this was third best tonight behind Jordin and Melinda. What more can you say? Tony? "She's a great, great lady."

Phew! How long is this? Well the bottom three according to me will be Phil, Gina, and Legs. I think Phil will finally go because he has been bottom three about a thousand times and that’s a shame because he is the best guy singer. Legs needs to go, but her very lickable, I mean, likable legs will keep her in it for another week. This in the grand scheme of things is not an overall bad thing.

Bombay Gunrunners Episode 11 and a bonus Opening Day Edition, let's play two!!

The Bombay Gunrunners are in the air for two episodes this week. The first episode is episode 11 of our regular pod cast and in this episode we discuss, Lost, how heavy metal soothes gifted gunrunners everywhere and also how Lee can do in 20 minutes with a piece of paper what takes a HAZ-MAT crew $45,000 and a week to do. And more!

The second episode which will be up soon, is the special Bombay Gunrunners Opening Day Special. In this episode, Lee, Dustin, and Pat talk baseball. In this special episode hear about the Jeff Conine incident, blown no-hitters, trashing hotel rooms, and Ray Chapman. Even if you aren't a baseball person, you will enjoy the talk of our adventures that have taken place so long enough ago that the statute of limitations have run out.

As always you can find the show on our website at bombaygunrunners.com or search for bombay gunrunners on iTunes. You can also contact us on our site as well as email us at bombaygunrunners@gmail.com.

Good news, good news, the Bombay Gunrunners are on myspace.com! Check out our myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/bombaygunrunners and learn more about your favorite Gunrunners and if you add us as a friend, you will become a Lil' Junior Gunrunner! Don't you want to be cool? Then join us!!!



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Let's Celebrate the Gaytors!!

Let's all discuss the reasons why we hate the University of Florida Gaytors.

1. Joakim Noah. Nobody outside the national media likes this cat. He's arrogant, loud, obnoxious and overrated. But the reason no one like him is his pretending to be a thug. Noah, you're a rich boy. You're not a thug. Your life was not hard, you didn't struggle just to make it.

2. Joakim Noah (part II) Noah isn't smart. There's no two ways about it. While he's pretending to be a thug, his lack of intelligence is glaring and seems genuine.

3. They're playing with teams. Florida all season could beat anyone they wanted. All they had to do was turn it on. They consistently would give a half-hearted effort, then turn it on and destroy whoever they play.