Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Kentucky, the land of bourbon, basketball and...snake handling?

Just when you thought Kentucky’s reputation as a backwoods state filled with inbred hillbillies couldn’t get worse. It seems that a woman in London, Kentucky, has died from a snakebite “stupposedly” suffered during a church service. She was bitten by the snake at the church. Neighbors that live next to the church claim that snake handling is a part of their services. Just when we Kentuckians get indoor plumbing and start wearing shoes, we get morons like this who take us back to medieval times. I better break out the still and start running shine.

What is going on with some of these people? It says in the bible that a true believer has the power to “take up serpents” without being harmed, but I am not going to try it. Of course, these idiots who actually practice this as a part of their religion aren’t smart enough to use non-poisonous serpents. It also says in the bible to not wear “mingled” clothes, which means no 50% poly and 50% cotton fabrics, you can only wear 100% of a fabric. I wonder if those who are taking up snakes practice this as well as snake wrangling.

Between these crazies and Ted Haggard, Christians are really taking it on the chin this week. Haggard has personal problems that need to be dealt with, but I can solve this problem of getting bitten by a snake during church services…STOP MESSING WITH POISONOUS SNAKES DURING CHURCH. Problem solved. Isn’t it hard enough to try and live a Christian life without the risk of getting pumped full of snake venom? I sure think so. I’ve got to go find a copper pot.

1 comment:

BRATCH said...

The funny thing is that religious "snake handling" was enough of a problem that Kentucky actually has a law against it.

That being said, I want to know what kind of snake she was handling and how many times she was bitten. I don't know how old the woman was, but to die of a snake bite in this day and age in 3 to 4 hours takes a heckuva lot of venom.

And most of the people you see on Dateline handling snakes don't even go to the hospital. They tough it out and see if the Lord will keep their arm from exploding.