Hey, I’ve got an idea. Hollywood should make the great TV show Dallas into a feature film. That would rule. I am sure everybody would go see it and it would become so big of a hit that we could look forward to a new movie every two or three years. The only thing is that the characters in the original were played perfectly by the actors chosen for the roles. I mean who else but Larry Hagman could play J. R. Ewing. It would be an impossible task for a casting director to find someone to fill Mr. Hagman’s large boots.
Linda Gray was just as good and just as big a character as J. R.’s wife, Sue Ellen. The battles that those two had were legendary in TV history. Sue Ellen went through a child loss, a drunken phase, an insane phase; well she went through it all. Another hard character to cast.
Wait a minute, I have an idea. I know who we could cast as J. R. Ewing. Someone that screams Texas. Someone who is known for being a bad guy in the movies. Yes, you guessed it, John Travolta. What? You don’t think JT could play a good J.R.? Well, too late, it has already happened. It’s true; John Travolta will be J.R. in the upcoming Dallas movie.
That’s not the worst or weirdest casting. Guess who they decided to give the Sue Ellen part to? Another person who just screams Texas. A real southern belle. Jennifer Lopez!!! Yes, that’s true too. J-Lo is Sue Ellen. I am not a huge Dallas fan, there was a time I got caught up in the reruns on TNN back in the day, but I can say these two castings do not suit me.
Where else can they go from here? Dame Edna as Miss Ellie? Taye Diggs as Bobby Ewing? Paris Hilton as Pamela? I guess all this depends on if the director and producers are going for camp/comedy or drama. If it is the latter, then I think they have already ruined their attempts and should go the opposite direction.