Man on Motorcycle Hits a Bear

I've always thought it would be a horrible thing to hit an animal while on a motorcycle. When thinking that I've been considering typical road kill types of animals: dogs, cats, opossum, raccoons, skunks, etc. I even entertained passing thoughts of how bad it would be to hit a deer.

In my wildest nightmares, I never considered hitting a bear with a motorcycle. For one, bears are big. And big is bad. Two, you're flying off that motorcycle and you may die. Three, the bear may die. BUT, four, you and the bear might live and if you and the bear live after you've just hit that bear with your motorcycle, that bear may be upset. This is just a no-win situation.

Extreme Makeover: Foreclosure Edition

If Ty Pennington and the crew from ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition came to your town and replaced your dilapadated joke of a house with a 4 bedroom, two story half million dollar dream home, what would you do?

If you're smart, you keep your job and go on about your life with an unexpected higher quality of living.

If you're like the family mentioned in the article linked above, you put the house up for collateral for a $450,000 loan to fund your dream construction business. Then you lose all of it. I'm not laughing at these people because it's not funny when someone loses a home. Especially a family with children and probably not enough money to buy another home to replace it.

But you sure do have to question the decision don't you?

Niiiiiice Shootin' Tex!

MORRISTON, Fla. — Authorities say a Levy County, Fla., man accidentally shot his wife while trying to hit a fox that attacked her.

The couple told deputies they spotted an animal in their yard Friday morning and went outside to see what it was.

The fox bit the woman on the left leg and wouldn't let go, so she told her husband to get a gun.

The man fired a .22-caliber rifle seven times, killing the animal but also hitting his wife in the lower right leg.

The woman was taken to a nearby hospital for treatment.

The dead fox will be tested for rabies, but authorities say the results won't be available until next week.

You've gotta love this story. A man's wife is being bitten by a fox on her left leg. So Buffalo Billy Bob gets his .22 and shoots SEVEN times (a shotgun would have done the job after one shot. But the great (depending on your perspective) thing about this story is while this fox is gnawing off his wife's left leg, Private Pyle shoots his wife's right leg.

Not only does it take the guy seven shots to kill something the size of my cat, he shoots his wife in the opposite leg. He saved his wife, but he lost his hunter's safety card.

Those Nutty New Zealander Names

A judge in New Zealand made a nine year old girl in the middle of a custody battle a ward of the court and changed her name. That seems harsh. What if little Suzy, or Elizabeth didn't want her name changed. Well, taht would be one thing.

But if your name is Telula Does The Hula, then you get it. I hear names here in the US that I think are ridiculous. Some names are just flat made up by syllables that people like together. Others are intentionally unusual spellings. But I'm glad that we've not gotten to the extreme here that they have there.

Because it's not as if Telula DTH is alone. One child is named Violence. One, Sex Fruit. These names are funny if you're naming your gerbil or a puppy even. Not if you're naming your child. I wouldn't even name my son Ephraim Alexander because our last name starts with an "R" and I didn't want his initials to be EAR. Just in case he had big ears.

So good for the judge to change this girl's unfortunate name. As for "Yeah Detroit", "Fish and Chips" or "Keenan Got Lucy", I guess they'll have to wait until they can go to the courthouse and do it themselves.

Record .491 blood alcohol level in R.I.

A man in Rhode Island had the highest ever blood alcohol level for someone in the state who wasn't dead. That line alone makes the story interesting. But this guy was driving his car....DRIVING HIS CAR with a .491 BAL.

Here is a list of BAC and the physical and mental impairments associated with the levels:

• .01-.06 Thought, Judgment, Coordination, Concentration
• .06-.10 Reflexes, Reasoning, Depth Perception, Distance Acuity, Peripheral Vision Glare Recovery
• .11-.20 Reaction Time, Gross Motor Control, Staggering, Slurred Speech
• .21-.29 Severe Motor Impairment, Loss of Consciousness, Memory Blackout
• .30-39 Bladder Function, Breathing, Heart Rate
• .40 & greater Breathing, Heart Rate

This guy was more than twice the level of severe motor impairment and loss of consciousness and he thought he was ok to drive. He probably had peed on himself. His breathing and heart rate had been affected. Wow.

Oh, and yes, I plan a revival of the Incongruent Affect. I will post stories about MMM (that's the Manly Men of Mankind) and freakish incidents like the one above. To be clear, an idiot who drinks himself into a .491 blood alcohol level is NOT in the MMM. He's just a moron.