MTV Is Not Living Up to Its Name, But They May Have to Now

MTV has a problem. Apparently the ratings are slipping now that The Osbournes, The Newlyweds, and The Ashlee Simpson Show have all gone off the air. MTV is scrambling to find new shows to replace them. One show that MTV was hoping would draw in the coveted 18 to 34 demographic is Meet the Barkers. This show is about a punk rock star and his Playboy Playmate wife. Sounds exciting, I am picturing drugs, orgies, and violence. I am getting kids, a happy marriage, and an all around hunk of mule dung. I know couples in Beaver Dam, KY, who have a more exciting life than these two. Strike one, MTV.

MTV also has a show called Power Girls, a show about publicists, featuring Lizzie Grubman. I have never seen this show and it would that about 90% of the population is in the same boat as me. I know that a show about publicists (what the hell is so exciting about PUBLICISTS?!?) screams must see TV, but it seems to be failing. I could not be more pleased that this show is highly unsuccessful. The reason, you ask? The star of this show, Lizzie Grubman, besides looking like the mascot for The British Bulldogs, was asked to move her SUV out of a fire lane while at a club, and she became so enraged that she backed her SUV into a crowd of people hanging around outside of the club.. She injured 16 people and she got 60 days in jail, 60 frickin’ days for driving her SUV into a crowd of people. I hope everything she touches turns to crap and I hope she has been sued to the bejesus belt by the people she injured. Strike two MTV.

MTV has two strikes in my eyes, and the third strike is the fact that they play no videos. How can you call yourself Music Television if the only time in 24 hours you can see music videos is between the hours of 2 and 4 AM? Something is wrong here. VH1 is the same way, except for the fact that they are turning into a celeb crazy tabloid channel, instead of a celeb crazy reality channel like MTV. I just want a chance to see a music video every now and again. Is that too much to ask? The only chance you have of seeing a video during the daylight hours is on TRL, their countdown show. Instead of making the show long enough to show some videos, MTV shows us about 20 seconds of every video. For the longest time I thought Gwen Stefani’s latest hit was just called “Hollaback.”

Fuse has now turned into the music channel I want. Fuse lets me see videos; although I have noticed some silly I wanna be a VJ type shows. I can live with it if they continue to fill most of my day with music. I wonder if MTV’s rating decrease is proof that viewers tend to agree with me. Is MTV willing to go retro and try the crazy strategy of actually playing music videos? Unfortunately for them, instead of looking for the next celebrity reality show, they may have to actually live up to the title of their channel.