Problems I have with Wal-Mart

These problems might be exclusive to my local Wal-Mart, but I'm sure you'll all see something familiar.

First of all, why have 326 check out lanes if you are only going to have the two that are farthest from the door open?

I realize that when Christmas rolls around they'll all be open, but I was there not 10 minutes ago and what few lanes they did have open had lines stretching all the way back into the clothing area. This is about 35 feet from the promised land of actually paying so you can get out of the cattle chutes.

Second, why does Wal-Mart always stop stocking things you like?

This is mostly a food thing. We eat a lot of microwavable meals because they are easy and portable for work, but as soon as we find certain things we like having around, they'll stop stocking them. You would think that after we buy all they have, that super computer they have in Arkansas would get the picture that we dig that product and order some more.

Back to the check out lanes again. Why don't they have more 10 items or less lanes?

These particular lanes are what I like to refer to as "man lanes." These are the lanes that I covet because I would love for my Wal-Mart experience to be similar to a bank robbery. In and out in 90 seconds. If I thought packin' heat would help expedite the check out process, I would consider investing in a firearm.

For the most part the public doesn't really understand the 10 items or less line anyway. I've seen people roll up with 5 cartons of eggs, 2 twelve packs of soda, 6 two liters of soda and 3 packages of hamburger. To you and me that adds up to 16 items, but to the genius who picked these things out it's only 4 items. Just a lot of each one.

Another problem I have is that they put the items that people want the most as far away from the parking lot as possible.

I realize that this is good business because it will encourage impulse buying because customers have to walk past a thousand other things they may need to get to the milk. However, this is excruciatingly stupid in my town because we don't have anywhere else to get the stuff that cheap. And people around here are as cheap as they come.

There are a lot of things in Wal-Mart that we just wouldn't be able to get in this county without Wal-Mart. Therefore, they should make my Wal-Mart a little more stinkin' convenient. They even sell live bait at Wal-Mart. LIVE BAIT!

The little bait shops around my county probably made 4 bucks a day selling live bait, but that was 4 bucks that Wal-Mart just knew it had to have. And now if I go fishing I have to drive to Wal-Mart and walk to the back of the store to get what I used to be able to get about 30 seconds from where I actually planned on fishing.

I wish they would put a punching bag next to the door with little smiley face they have in the commercials on it so I could punch it in the face as I leave.